I didn't necessarily agree to this, but the lovely Maritza from Jump in the Ocean was determined to ask me these questions anyway. It stemmed from a post that she did not so long ago here and involves bloggers coming up with 4 questions to ask bloggers. She is in charge and I have no say in what she asks me. Being a man who is not fond of being put on the spot, I was a bit concerned at first. I could always reject the questions entirely but then again what fun would that be? Instead I sat back and waited for them to arrive via email. Instead of dodging them, I would maneuver myself swiftly and gracefully (yet firmly) though them with my powers of persuasion and charm.
Maritza's questions arrived, and here they are:
1. Describe a moment in your life when everything just seemed to come together. If you don't have such a moment, how about when everything fell apart?
I can't specifically recall everything coming together (it will eventually) but I can recall instances where it all fell apart. The most recent was 7 years ago when my grandfather had a stroke and the fight between how to administer care for him resulted in a row with my family that has yet to be reconciled. Since my grandparents raised me I saw their home (which was also my home) get dismantled and sold off to strangers. Things that had been part of my family for years and part of so many key moments were suddenly being haggled over. My family turned against me and confiscated my car to joyride in and to take care of business regarding which conversant home my grandparents would go to. They refused to rent car. This prevented me from working, which prevented me from earning money and left me unable to find a place of my own.
The ordeal left me out on the street and broke.
I was forced to throw all of my possessions into a dumpster except for the cloths I had in some suitcases and what didn't fit into suitcases went into trash bags. I got the car back and that almost became my home. It was a very dehumanizing experience that no one should go through. It taught me to trust no one and rely only on me. I have no concept of what "family" is nor do I have any interest. I roll solo.
2. Health or wealth?
Health, I can use the vitality to go out and earn wealth. HA!
3. What do you do to find women? Bar crawler, personal ads, mail order - what's your M.O.?
Ah-ha! I believe this to be the true M.O. of our dear friend Maritza. These other questions are fluff. This question is not one but many and all are loaded.
But this is where I unload so, never being one to leave a beautiful woman in the lurch, I will answer in the most gentlemanly way possible. My dear Maritza, as I answer this, I'm looking deep into your eyes and speaking very softly and sincerely.
While I had great fun with the mail order bride posts, I don't want a woman who just wants me for my green card. I want to be wanted for me. Nothing more or less really. I'm sure you understand as, after all, isn't that what we all want? I'm sure you do my sweet Maritza.
Now, there are numerous ways to meet women and bars and places like that are a start and actually my best resource at the moment. As for the M.O. you speak of, there are times I want to be loved, there are times when want to feel like a prince, there are times I want to feel raw emotion and there are times I just want a good fuck. What separates the men from the boys is knowing what woman is suitable for which need and at what time. The mood and atmosphere must be right and the judgment must be quick and decisive. When she's ready he must take her into his grasp. It could be done firmly but better to be done gently.
This is not vulgar, but honest and natural. And this is what I strive to be, my love.
(I run my hand down Maritza's cheek, smile then ease back into my chair awaiting the next question)
4. What's the one thing you wish for?
To get one of these damn screenplays produced so I can look back at my life and say,"You see that movie? I wrote that."
Coming up next on U N L O A D E D, good bye papa!
