U N L O A D E D

The Sharpness of a Tipsy Woman

2010-07-29T23:36:00.007-04:00

She is a very close friend but not my dear friend of many years. That will come in time. For he sake of this story, she shall remain nameless although I'd never forget her from here on out.

We were leaving a house party and I offered her a ride home. She had a bit to drink and letting her go home alone wouldn't have been safe.

Me: Guys, I got her. I'll take her home.

Tipsy Woman: Are you sure Ricardo? Your car is close?

Me: Yeah, come on. Let's get you home.

We walk through a parking lot to my car, she begins to rummage through her purse.

Tipsy Woman: Can't be too careful. Someone may try to mess with us out here. I have to find my....ahhh.

She pulls out a small but very sharp push dagger from her purse much like this one. She holds it a few inches from her face and looks it over like it's her new wedding ring.

Me: Good thing you brought it along. Left mine at home.

Tipsy Woman: If someone tries anything I have no problem stabbing them. And if anyone attacked you, I'd do that for you too.

She looks at me, smiles and puts the knife away with a sense of maternal assurance. The juxtaposition of this tall, beautiful, delicate looking woman holding her knife in the moonlight sent all of my creative synapses firing. It was alarming, sexy, cinematic, titillating, mysterious and right out of the femme fatale playbook. But this was a real woman standing before me and this was not the movies.

Me: I.......

Actually I didn't know what to say. A gorgeous woman just vowed to stab anyone that messes with me. I don't condone such actions, but understand that self defense is a necessary evil in this world. My wish, of course, is that such terrible extremes would never have to be taken and that both of us stay clear out of harms way. I would never want anything to happen to either of us (or any of you reading this) that needs retaliation with a knife, gun or fists.

As the surface reactions and feelings wore off, I made another realization: This moment forcefully tugged at my heartstrings. She wasn't looking for a knife fight in the parking lot nor was she willing to stab anyone that walked by. She was telling me in her own tipsy way that she'd go the distance for me. Not kill on command or mangle, but protect. And the concept that someone cared so much for me that they'd risk life and limb if I was in trouble was just the most amazing feeling that I've never felt much of in my life. It was this concept, not the acts of potential violence, that moved me, inspired me and gave me hope that I'll be OK on this wild ride and that I'm not alone.

I felt part of me almost falling in love with her there on the spot but by the end of the drive I shook it off. I had other things to take care of, other women I was involved with to sort through and a future that was going to swing a few proverbial sharp blades at me.

It's good to know she cares.

Booked for Upcoming CBS Crime Drama, "Blue Bloods"

2010-07-26T23:27:00.004-04:00

Ladies and gents, I will be visiting your blogs soon, I promise. It's just that all of a sudden I've become terribly busy with background acting gigs and that's a good thing! I actually got the call to work on this show while finishing up on the set "The Good Wife."

"Blue Bloods" is a new series starring Tom Selleck and Donnie Wahlberg (of New Kids on the Block fame) as family members who are in law enforcement in New York City. I will be standing in for some principle actor (not sure who) and also playing a "perp" which is shocking since I usually play cops on these kinds of shows. Have I broken the type casting? No matter. I'll take the money as things have been super tight these days and I am PRAYING (something I don't usually do) that I can afford the train fare to get down to the city to work.

"Blue Bloods" will be premiering on CBS this fall, Friday's at 10 PM ET.

Later everybody!

Another Round of "The Good Wife" Set for Monday

2010-07-23T11:28:00.004-04:00

I got a call from the casting agency saying they needed me for Monday on "The Good Wife" playing whatever it is they need me to be in the background and I said yes. I had a great time there but, I must admit, getting to the studio in this heat has been exhausting. It also doesn't help that the studio is located near several trash dumps that give off a remarkable oder that left several of us ready to pass out on the sidewalk.

However despite these complaints, I'm thrilled to be working and hope that they will use me again as the season rolls on. I talked to one guy who played a lawyer, frat boy, client and a few other things last season so anything can happen. If not, there's always other projects I can work on.

I'd like to begin focusing on what is called "under 5"' roles. These are parts that the actor says 5 lines or less. Now I have way more lines than that in the short films I do, but I'm referring to big time TV shows here. Getting this will be difficult and tricky but I am talking with other actors and may have some leads on agents. You can't get these parts if you don't have one. So now that I am comfortable with background work, the time has come to take the next step. How long will this take? Who knows? I'll tell you this, it's not beyond my ability to perform such roles. It's just a matter of finding the dots and connecting them. And sooner or later, I will connect them!!!

The Photographer's Assistant

2010-07-20T23:05:00.007-04:00

She was out for the night with her former boss and friend....a photographer.....

We met.....said hello.......pleasantries were exchanged. I thought little of her at first.....

The drinks poured.........we became..............intoxicated...........the conversation continued. Mostly small talk.

She then bluntly offered herself to me.

I was shocked......stunned....but I obliged......it was an opportunity. My peers, my fellow men, nearby said if I didn't, they would be my substitute.

(deep breath, long pause)

I went into her car, she drove me to a photography studio.......what happened there was savage.....carnal......illogical yet logical all at once.

(a long drink from a glass of water as I find the resolve to continue)

And that was that, or so I thought.

The Morning After

I awoke to find myself with a splitting headache. She lay next to me, fast asleep. what the hell have I done!?!? I look to see my clothes strewn about. Getting dressed I staggered out of the room to find the Photographer of the studio standing there with a big smile.

Photographer: Good man! (slapping my shoulder) Good man! Ha! Ha!

Me: Thanks.......

I find my way to the door and begin the long walk back to my car, checking to see if my wallet is still there and my keys still handy. I thought to myself; she wasn't the worst, nor the best. Nice attitude. Good girl but just not "it." At least she didn't have a dog that ate my wallet and ATM cards like the last woman. But for all intents and purposes, I'm putting this one behind me. Today is a new day.

Several Weeks Later

I'm at a house party when suddenly, a friend comes up to me with a big smile on his face.

Friend: I kept your personal info private but....um.....a certain someone was asking for your name and number because she's moving into a place behind a certain photography studio. She was wondering if you'd like to move in with her. I told her you'd need a very long time to think about it.....alone.

Me: Who is this?

Friend:(laughing) You don't know, or you don't want to remember? Come on, think!

Me: (I had forgotten her name) The photographer's assistant!?!?!?!

Friend:(laughing harder) YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

A short time later The Photographer joins party!!!! He notices me.

The Photographer: Looks like you may have your housing issue squared away. She's willing to pay two thirds in exchange for "things." (looking to the others at the party) HAAAAA! HA! HAAA!

He thrusts his hips in and out in a lewd, perverse manner while sticking out his tongue and simulating cunnilingus.

I wish to flee that party.

The Photographer: Hey she was really, really impressed with you by the way. You made a GREAT impression! Don't worry, you've got great form! HAAAAAAAA!

The other party goers gasp in horror.

Me: And how the fuck would you know about my form?

The Photographer: She's been going on and on about it!!! And I could see it on the video. Low resolution video but....well...I hope you become famous because you'll have to pay and pay baby. HAAAA! HAAAAAA!!! HHAAAAAA!!!!!!

Of course, it's a photography studio, filled with all sorts of cameras. Given his court jester like nature there may very well be no video at all. My friends assured me that this threat was nothing more than bluster and to simply take it in stride.

The Photographer: So, you moving in with her?

Me:(Giving him the look of death) No........

And the search for a new residence continues.

See Here, I've Done No Such Thing!!!

2010-07-17T03:22:00.004-04:00

It wasn't all that long ago (St.Patrick's Day) that I found myself at an Irish bar, gleefully drunk, and in the midst of a very personal conversation with the cook's girlfriend. The cook being the head chef at my favorite watering hole that later closed down. She shared many intimate secrets about her relationship with him and none of it was offered up by me prying. She said that she was very comfortable talking to me so she let it spill along with beer and Irish car bomb shots between she and I.

Too drunk to drive she asked if I wanted to come to her place and sleep on her couch. Knowing full well I was not in control of my faculties, I obliged. Getting behind the wheel was simply unacceptable and dangerous.

Nothing happened that night between us and nothing was made of this event until now. My fondest memory of the evening was how comfortable her couch was. But things became quite complicated. You see, our friend, The Cook, had just broken up with his girlfriend. And that's where our tale begins.

Present Day

I knew the owner of the house that I'm staying at and our dear friend, "The Cook," were at our new regular watering hole and I felt I'd make a quick stop in to say hello.

The Cook: (noticing me as I enter) Well look who comes in just as I'm about to leave.

Me: Hey, where are you heading? I'll join you.

He told me that he was off to see a mutual friend at another bar near by. We'd have cheap beer and food as both of us were broke. On the walk over he shared his frustrations about the break up and her admission of infidelity. This latter incident had really stuck a nerve with him and he couldn;t shake off the pain. I empathized and decided to show my support for him by proposing a night where we go cruising for chicks. It would be a wonderful distraction for both of us as I was in a bit of a malaise over my housing situation.

The Bar

Before I could sit down and place my order, my cell phone rang. I was booked as an extra on "The Good Wife" for several days. This was most joyous and I eagerly accepted the offer. I told everyone of the news and ordered a drink in celebration. I would have some very nice paydays ahead of me.

All seemed well with The Cook and I. We continued our casual conversation with the others in the establishment before deciding to move onto another bar for one final round. It was during this walk that the tone of things changed dramatically.

The Long Walk

Rain began to pour and I felt the urgency to walk a bit faster to our destination.

The Cook: I'm really upset that she cheated on me. And then she expected me to overlook it. What the fuck?

Me: I knew she was into drama but I figured she was just bringing guys home and not doing anything with them simply to press your buttons. I even felt concerns about it myself a few days after she let me sleep over. I didn't know if you would come running out of the kitchen with a rolling pin or something to hit me. But (my former mixologist) told me not to worry and that all was well with it.

The Cook: No, no. I wasn't worried at all. I knew you wouldn't do that. Don't worry about that.

Suddenly, the Cook stops in his tracks, starring me down.

The Cook: Ricardo?

Me: Yes?

The Cook: Did you sleep with her?

Me: What!?!? Are you nuts? NO!

The Cook: Now I'm not going to hate you or anything, you don't have to worry about that. I will forgive you. It's water under the bridge. (pause) Did you sleep with her?

Me: NO! Why do you keep asking me this?

We start walking again. The rain intensifies. The Cook stops in his tracks again.

The Cook: I'll only ask this once and it's OK if you did. You can tell me and there will me no animosity here. Did you sleep with her?

Me: Will you stop it? NO!

We begin to walk again.

The Cook: Soooo Ricardo......really.....did you sleep with her?

The Second Bar (later)

The euphoria of "The Good Wife" booking has been killed buy this topic but I'm finally beginning to dry off. The conversation has shifted to more pleasant subjects but The Cook grows silent. I look over o see him looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

The Cook: You are a good man and a good friend but I have to ask you this once, and only once. And you can tell me without any guilt. Did you sleep with her? I know she slept with others, if you are one of the others, that's fine. I don't care if you go over and sleep with her now. I want nothing to do with her.

Me: See here, I've done no such thing! (The former Mixologist) was there at the bar and can set the record straight that nothing happened. I mean she wasn't with us the whole night but she knew what she was up to. She was playing games! Don't you see?

The Cook: I see, I see. I'm just saying if you did....

Me: I didn't, really!

A long pause as we both had a few sips of our beer and stared at the wall as some pretty girl sang karaoke and quite badly.

The Cook: So...

Me: Yeah?

The Cook: Would you have slept with her if she offered?

Booked For the CBS Legal Drama, "The Good Wife"

2010-07-14T23:32:00.003-04:00

As many of you already know, I have a multiple day booking for the CBS legal drama "The Good wife." Looks like I will be playing a assistant state attorney which is cool and I'm really hoping that I get decent camera time. While it's just background work, you really never know what can happen. I could be a blur in the background or front and center. Hey, it's happened to me twice (being front and center with the main cast) on "White Collar" and I got a nice bump in pay for "Rescue Me" because I was used so prominently. But even if I don't, I'm just going to have fun with it.

So I will now get a few hours rest before jumping on a train bound for the Big Apple and be thankful that I am, at least, finding some work in one of the most competitive professions in the world.

Have a good one everybody!

Um....Awakward!!

2010-07-13T00:38:00.008-04:00

I'm not one to showcase my pale, shirtless carcase to just anyone which is why I prefer to workout alone....away from the gyms people frequent. Fitness has been, and will remain, a part of my life until my dying days. If I don't workout, I feel ravaged by guilt and much too lethargic to carry on. So for many years I have taken to hitting the weights, along with push ups ( I do these BTW ) and crunches to keep some semblance of a fit male form. I'm getting in front of the camera after all, can't be sporting a gut. That's just unacceptable. The goal is simply for me to be toned and not look like it's too easy to push me around. If I can fill in a suit or jeans and a t-shirt, that's good enough for me.

However I have always preferred to work out alone. It's a solitary activity that allows both body and mind to be challenged and I like to get lost in pushing myself to my personal limits. I also don't like to be disturbed. This spartan endeavor was interrupted recently and I had little choice but to open the door since I'm at a temporary residence and the room belongs to performance artist and fetish model, Ms.D'Ranged.

I was preparing to do a second set barbell rows, excellent for the back.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Ladies and gentleman, I'm in my world, as described above. Drenched in sweat, smelling awful, because that's what happens when you work out, and I had no choice but to open the door.

Me: Hold on.

Toweling some of the buckets of sweat off, I open the door to find Ms.Deranged standing there smiling. This is utterly embarrassing for me to address a woman in this state.

Ms. D'Ranged: Hi.

Me: (labored breathing patterns) Hey....

Ms. D'Ranged: Can I grab something out of the closet.

Looking at my weights blocking the closet and wishing this moment passes swiftly.

Me: Sure, just a second.

I move the barbell that I was doing the rows with aside.

Ms. D'Ranged: Oh my God! How much weight is that?

Me: About 140 pounds.

Ms. D'Ranged: That weighs WAY more than me.

Me: Yes it does little lady.

I was too flustered to say anything more clever, I was caught of guard and moved about like an awkward mess. More clanging of weights and, at last, a path to the closet was cleared. I could only hope I wasn't too pungent as she looked for her things. I really wanted to finish up and hit the shower.

Ms.D'Ranged: (rummaging through the closet) I left all my summer clothes here which, you would think I would have had them all along because....it's summer. I've been meaning to get these for awhile.

Me: Well whatever you need, let me know. Just come in and grab it.

The owner of the house overhears the conversation from the next room.

Owner of the House:(shouting from the other room) Ha! What!?!?! What did you just say Ricardo? Come in and what!?!?! HA! Haaaaaa!

Me: (turning to Ms. D'Ranged, embarrassed further) No! No! That's not what I mean. I was not implying....he should get his mind out of the gutter.

Ms. D'Ranged: Oh look, I left one of my books on erotic bondage here. See?

Me: Mmmmm....I do.

That must be what all the twine was for but I made no mention of it.

Ms. D'Ranged: Well that should be it. Bye.

Shaking my head and closing the door, I resumed my workout hoping I'd at least gave her a moderately pleasant view. If not her her sake, then for my own fragile male ego.

So I Had a Date Recently

2010-07-10T15:59:00.004-04:00

So despite all the chaos with me looking for a place to move to (I think I might have found one by the way, fingers crossed) and the mad pursuit of acting gigs down in New York City, I actually secured a date. Yeah I know, why go on a date when I have so many fires to put out from June when the original place I was to live in fell through because of structural damage? But then I asked myself, why not? It's been a roller coaster these past few months. Some of it fun, some of it not so much. But should I let the not so fun stuff push me away from living my life? Not a chance.

So there I am in a Thai restaurant, sitting across from a gorgeous woman (Yale graduate, so beauty and brains) and not having a care in the world. All my troubles vanished for awhile and really, as we talked more, I realized things aren't as bad as they seem with my plight and it's only temporary. She was passionate about the welfare of animals, the environment and eating healthy. I found it all fascinating as I enjoy the company of people who are passionate about things. She also wanted to know about my acting which, of course, I'm always happy to talk about. Personal light bulb going off over the head moment here: She was amazed how much worked I amassed since just getting back into things in September. I didn't realize this, but I have been VERY fortunate to have had the experiences I've had thus far. I really feel blessed in that regard.

But things took a turn and got rather interesting concerning the topic of age.

Date: Oh Ricardo I'm a little older than you.....

Me: You think so? How old do you think I am?

Date: I Googled you. I Google everyone.

Me: Clever of you.

Date: You didn't see the year I graduated on Facebook did you?

Ladies and gents, this woman looks to be in her late 20s and early 30s would be pushing it. I was convinced I WAS THE OLD MAN!! But was I?

Date: 88 Ricardo. You adding up those years yet?

Me: I.....you.......well I stand corrected......you.....

Date: I'm like a cougar.

Me: Yeah. Does this bother you that I'm just a mere boy?

Date: (laughing) No.

We talked more until the place closed down. the staff threw us out. Will there be a second date? I'd like to have one. Who knows?

The adventure continues folks. See you around.

How I Took Advantage of a Sleeping Woman

2010-07-08T01:00:00.005-04:00

She was asleep, unaware, helpless, ready to be taken advantage of. It had been awhile and I was desperate, out of touch, and in need of a quick fix. I had to do something, anything to scratch an itch that needed a serious scratching.

It all started out innocently enough. My dear friend of many years, Cindy, works for the cable company and has a large, beautiful, flat screen HDTV and an employee cable TV subscription that gets her EVERY channel on the dial. TVs these days don't really have dials, but you get what I mean. I am a fan of the HBO series "True Blood." It's a vampire drama that's made for adults. Never mind that silly "Twilight" shit, that's for 15 year old girls!! "True Blood" makes me want to BE a vampire. And a swell one I would make!

I pleaded with her to let me into her home, just for a few moments, to at least see one episode of the new season. My current homeless situation has caused me to fall behind and miss out on all the blood drinking hijinks. Eventually I wore her down and she obliged, but only on the condition that it be just one episode. I said it was fair enough and scheduled a time to come down.

The episode began and Cindy and I enjoyed it while snaking on Wheat Thins and drinking a bottle of wine she purchased earlier that day. As the episode unfolded, more wine poured and Ricardo and Cindy were both happy. But then something peculiar happened, Cindy grew quiet and her eyelids became heavy. Soon she was no longer responding to my remarks and I looked over to see our little friend nestling into a deep slumber. The episode of "True Blood" was also coming to a close, thus marking my one episode limit. It was all slipping away much too soon!

Oh Cindy......such a pretty girl. My eyes scanned her body for any conscious movement. From her cute toes, up to her smooth legs, then to her slender waist, all the way up to her angelic face.....I observed. Not the slightest of movements! So peaceful she looked, just lying there. I knew I could get away with anything and because of this.....I took advantage of the situation. I simply could not fight my urges and succumbed. Oh dear lord I was lost in the desert and needed water! I had to do what I was about to do! Do you all understand? Can you feel my pain? My agony? My loneliness!?!?!! It's really not that bad, I swear! What I did was not meant to hurt her, you see!

My eyes moved to the remote control beside her. Gingerly, I took the remote and brought up the on screen menu. There I found the next episode of "True Blood." Wisely, I looked to see if she was still unawares! She was! Stealthily, I hit play. My eyes then went back to the wine, I had another glass. I then secured the box of remaining Wheat Thins and settled in for more blood curdling intrigue! The crumbs from the snack spilled onto my chest as I felt a defiant surge of adrenaline surge through my entire body!

About halfway through the episode, Cindy awoke for a few moments, long enough to realize what I had done. She murmured something unintelligible and was still too drowsy from the wine to put up a fight. She then turned over and went back to sleep, knowing full well I had broken the pact. I left her apartment feeling like I was back in the loop. A member of the blood cult once more.

While many here sing the praises of shunning TV because not having it enriches their lives, I, for one, will disagree. I have not felt the need to read Tolstoy or quote poetic verses from Keats. No, to say such would be a lie. I am miserable without TV. I absolutely hate being without it due to this current transient life. I.......LOVE........TV!! And while I profess to watching it and loving it, I still have a life in spite of it. Apparently I'm not allowed to have both but, truth be told, I know for a fact that my life is infinitely more interesting than yours because I'm Ricardo and that, for the sake of this blog and the universe, is enough.........

"Middle Ditch" and "Anna's Kitchen" Now Online

2010-07-03T14:15:00.011-04:00

Ladies and gentleman, I do hope all of you here in the states are having a wonderful Fourth of July weekend. For those of you not in the US of A, use it as an excuse to drink or yell about our corporate imperialism. But really, it's only a matter of time before China runs us over anyway.

However I'm here to discuss two projects that I worked on that are now available for you to watch and listen to online.

Middle Ditch

I co-wrote an episode of "Middle Ditch" which is an audio dark comedy and was a lot of fun to work on. Basically I wrote a bunch of nonsense and Monique (who produces, directs and writes it all) came in and cleaned up the mess to give you all a coherent episode. I thank her for the chance and hope she and the listeners of the series enjoy it.

Ana's Kitchen

"Ana's Kitchen" was the nutritional/educational video I did for Yale University where I played a former soccer player who wasn't taking care of himself or his family. Basically, we were all eating badly and feeling pretty sloth like. The whole things is done up like a cheesy Spanish soap opera to boot.

Now this one gives me mixed feelings because I think I wasn't the right guy for the role but did the best that I could with it. The casting people had a hard time finding the right guy for the job and decided on me. I thank them BIG TIME for that. I really loved working with this group. However, the result, when I watch it, is the feeling that I still could have done better at it even if I did not technically "fit." I see some mechanical issues with my technique that I can work on so the good thing is that from this experience, I can get better at my craft.

But then again I can also be my own worst critic. What I think is good may not be what the director wants and really you should be giving the director what he/she wants. The most telling sign for me when we shot this was how few notes the producer and director were giving me between takes. I simply heard nothing which really (in this level of the business) means you're doing fine. When I did approach them for feedback, asking if there was anything they wanted to change, the producer and director both looked at me startled and said,"WHAT!?!? No! No! Keep doing what it is you're doing! Don't change anything! You've got a unique way and sound that's making this interesting."

Whether that was truth or smoke, all of the episodes of "Ana's Kitchen" are now online for you to watch here.

NOTE TO WINDOWS PC USERS: Make sure you have Apple's Quicktime video plug-in installed. You can get that HERE.

Enjoy and have a great weekend, folks.

Falling in "Love" by the End of the Week

2010-07-01T01:39:00.005-04:00

These have been tense times and tense times bring on intense emotions. However I certainly wasn't expecting to be told that I'd be in "love" with a particular woman by weeks end. Who on earth decides these things?

It all started rather innocuously. I had been invited to meet up with some good friends (the lads) at very traditional Irish pub that we've all grown quite fond of. I was enjoying my Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer (the only beer I can afford out these days) when I spied an attractive young woman holding the attention of two businessmen there for happy hour. They were showering her with attention and drinks. She took an interest in what they did and and their possessions.

Woman: What kind of watch is that?

Man #1: Just a watch I bought.

Me: It's a Movado.

Woman: (eyes widening) Did you pay for that yourself?

Man #1: No, actually, I got it on sale.

Woman: (rolling up Man #1's sleeves) Well let's get a better look at this.

I had no interest in partaking in their exchange any further and continued my conversation with the boys about women, life and the future. Little did I realize that this woman had locked her eyes on me.

Eventually, I turned to find her giving me a seductive stare while chatting away with Man #2.

Woman: You....

Me: Me?

Woman: I'll have you in love with me by the end of the week.

Me: Really?

Woman: Mmm-hmmm.

Man #1: It looks like she's got you pegged.

Me: Good heavens, whatever will I do against such a force?

Man #2: Excuse me!

Man #2 storms off in a fit of jealousy.

Woman: (approaching me and noticing my car keys) So what do these drive?

Me: A 2003 Mitsubishi Lancer. I'm sure that excites you.

She was hoping I would say a BMW or something expensive but I knew what she was up to and I was not about to play along.

Woman: I can make you fall in love with me. In one week, you'll totally love me.

Me: Good thing I'm sitting down because I may be getting a bit wobbly in the knees.

Woman: So....are you like 28......29?

Me: 55.

Woman: What?

Me: I have a private plastic surgeon.

Woman: Well I love his work.

Me: Really because I was getting a kick out of your work with those two guys over there. Do this sort of thing often?

Realizing I figured her out, she moved on.

My friend finally leans over to ask what the hell was going on.

Friend #1: Who was she?

Me: A high priced call girl or a pathetic gold digger.

Friend #1: I...you know she's been here all day I heard! I was hoping you'd get lucky because she was really going after you. I mean you always get into these strange....

Me: Situations?

Friend #2: (putting down his beer and making a declaration) Ricardo, you ARE the situation.

Was that a compliment or insult?

Setting the Record Straight on Misleading Journalism About Yours Truly

2010-06-26T18:07:00.005-04:00

I will every so often enter my name into Google and Yahoo to see what comes up as a means of seeing how my name is being treated in cyberspace. Sometimes I'm written about, most of the time it's the stuff on this blog. Other times my name has been accidentally attached to something off the wall because the search bots misinterpreted something and placed links to my blog saying that I'm selling free Viagra or the like. Other times it's a positive review. To those who have written positively about this blog online, thanks for your support. But I'm here today to set the record straight on a story that appeared in the New Haven Independent earlier this month regarding cameras on traffic lights. One day, while at an intersection in downtown New Haven, a gentleman approached my window, identified himself as a reporter, and began asking me questions about what I thought about the street cameras.

Being someone who was shocked over the erosion of our civil liberties, post 9/11, under the reign of King George, I said I didn't like the idea of cameras. I felt that it paved the way for police to just start cranking out tickets for running red lights and lining the city coffers with extra cash. I'm not a fan of Big Brother like tactics, especially when it's about adding a new revenue stream in the guise of public safety.

The reporter in question is Paul Bass. I feel that in the time allotted to me (he was speaking to me while stopped at a red light, key point here) I told him my view as best I could. However Mr.Bass begins the article with THIS:

Ricardo Lori was convinced the new camera staring at him from a downtown traffic light could lead to a ticket if he sped through a red. The city says the camera—and ones like it at 40 spots around town—are there to help drivers like Lori pass through intersections more easily.

No, I said it was a way for them to start issuing tickets down the road. I was not convinced that speeding through it would get me one now. Furthermore, and most importantly, it makes it sound like I drive willy-nilly through traffic lights all the time and these cameras will put an end to my dysfunctional, thrill seeking ways. You would think that I was at the intersection, drenched in sweat, shivering with fear over the cameras looking down at me because I just had to blast through the red light. Like a crack addict in need of a swift hit from the pipe. I DO NOT SPEED THROUGH RED LIGHTS!!! I have an excellent driving record and am not advocating that people drive recklessly. What I said is right here on video!! Video I had no idea he was recording by the way.

This naturally prompted people in the comments section to say that in order to avoid a ticket, I should obey the law and stop at red lights. Well guys, I did the interview while stopped at a RED LIGHT which means.....I STOP AT THEM. Then there is always some genius (the type that thinks the Cold War era Russians are still coming to get us and the likes of Limbaugh, Beck and Palin will save us because they're REAL Americans) that will say, "If you have nothing to hide, you shouldn't worry about the surveillance." Can someone please read them a copy of the U.S. Constitution because I don't think they can on their own!! Include pictures!!!!

Finally, and a point I didn't have time to get across in my brief interview with Mr. Bass, is that my other dislike of red light cameras is that the timing of the lights can be manipulated to entrap people and rake in the money. Not only that, there are all sorts of illegal kickbacks that these cameras generate for the people making/operating them and the cities using them. These are points of contention in Chicago, Clear Lake, Texas, New Orleans, and many other places. To add to my argument against these contraptions, reporters in Los Angeles noted a dramatic increase of accidents AFTER putting in these stupid cameras. Why? People were slamming on their brakes, fearing a ticket and the extra short yellow light interval. But if you're in Houston, they will have the powers that be manipulate studies to make things look safer!

See why I hate these things? Later everybody.

Major Decisions, Major Crossroads

2010-06-24T23:25:00.005-04:00

I made the difficult choice of NOT moving into the new place that would have covered me for 2 months and, instead, will stay where I am for the time being. I simply did not feel right about the fact that the people who said I could move in on the 15th of the month vanished and resurfaced to say I could move in this week. Slight issue here, I paid them for rent for the 15th and on. I basically threw money out. Also, as soon as I get in, I'll have to leave!!! I need something more long term than that and my friend is affording me that time at his place.

The other issue comes in the form of getting back my money. I need my security deposit back and the partial months rent. This is going to be difficult. I was out of it for most of the day today. Actually, today was the first time I felt just totally overwhelmed by the situation and just wanted to vanish from existence. The point was driven home when my former mixologist went to give me a big hug and kiss and said it was as if I was running away from her. When I'm down and feeling worthless, I get this way. I have a hard time with people being affectionate with me at times like this because I feel undeserving of it. Like I'm some sort of fraud for not having it all figured out, but I'm not a fraud. And if you have ever seen my former mixologist in person, you will know I am DEFINITELY out of it for backing off of a hug and kiss from her, even if she's just a friend. This is a personal issue with me and an issue I have to shake free of. I suspect it comes from the longstanding nonsense delivered on me by my estranged family. The feelings are their voices, not mine, and I must listen to mine. Or maybe it's just me being a typical man.

I initially took the place out of desperation. I didn't know where to go or what to do. Now I see I've taken a wrong turn at the wrong time and I'm running out of time. It feels like I can't take anymore wrong turns. I also feel like a burden to my friends and it's rather humiliating to me. I want to be in the position of helper, not the one being helped. I don't like being down and out like this.

On the flip side, I'll be sworn in as a member of the board of directors at my synagogue on Friday. I need to get my suits out and find which one fits the occasion. It's going to be hard to keep a stiff upper lip and pretend everything is fine but hey, I'm an actor.

Speaking of acting, I'll also be shooting the short film,"Cruise Night" this weekend. I hope I can give a good performance for the director, cast and crew. Actually, I think that day will be a wonderful escape.

Speaking of escapes, I've been watching a lot of films lately. Years ago I use to do this all the time. I loved going to the movies alone and absorbing some artsy foreign film. It was a healing experience and it stirred my imagination. Nowadays it's Netflix and they deliver many of the types of films I use to go see.

I asked a girl out, she said yes. But who knows? She'll probably back out once she finds out that I'm "unstable" and not "serious about life. "

Whatever...........

Cruise Night

2010-06-22T15:17:00.007-04:00

I'll be playing the father to a teenage girl in a world where not all is what it seems in the short film, "Cruise Night." Rehearsals have been good thus far and the ending has changed meaning I've got new dialog to memorize pronto but I really like the story.

I'm really glad to be working on this short and everyone has been great! I feel a bit strange playing a dad to the young woman (pictured to the right) because I don't think I'm THAT old. But as I said, this world is not what it seems and things have been altered.
The set will have all sorts of classic cars lined up, hence the title "Cruise Night." I'm hoping to get a closer look at some of those in between takes. The pictures here were taken during the rehearsal. Gotta run,take care of some critical errands and go over the script some more. I'll have some more news on the living situation too.

Later everybody.

The Room That Never Was?

2010-06-20T13:41:00.008-04:00

Well, by now we all know about my precarious living situation and once more things have taken a very off turn. I think I feel an ulcer coming on.

As it stands now I am unable to get into contact with anyone regarding the new place I'm supposed to move to. I was supposed to have this place for a little over two months and then, I'm off to somewhere else. Where? I don't know. All I do know is that I can only occupy the room of visual artist/fetish model/DJ/Gothic gardener, Ms.D'Ranged (warning: NSFW but nicely done) for so long before she needs it back for herself. She has been VERY COOL thus far. And lets not forget the owner of this house! He didn't have to put me up and saved my hide! And let's not forget my former Mixologist. Had she not heard, she wouldn't have called and had this whole arrangement set up. Who knows where I'd be!?!?!? All in all, it's good to have friends.

So, I'm really hoping that I didn't pay all this money to people who are going to vanish and leave me with nowhere to go. Since they are grad students, I will give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are away for a bit. Even so, this really puts me in a tight situation. I'm worried about things these days ladies and gents. To boot, the background gigs seemed to have slowed down. My streak was broken the day I moved out of my original place. While I know those things aren't connected, it feels that way. On the positive side, I am expecting my AFTRA card (actors union card) to arrive which makes me feel like everything is official. I know it's just a card but I'm really excited about getting it. It's sort of a testament to how far I've come along that it warranted me joining the union. So while it's slow, overall, acting has been good to me. Let's hope the guys at this new place are also.

A Plea to the Rabbi

2010-06-17T06:14:00.004-04:00

I've discussed (ad nauseam) the attempts my Jewish brothers and sisters have made to arrange a proper Jewish wedding for me. This should be nothing new even if you've been a reader for the span of a few weeks. However the latest cultural pressures have prompted me to take greater action.

The following missive was sent to my rabbi via email. While it voices my frustrations, I know ultimately he is powerless. I also know that he finds this all much more humorous than I.

In the event that anyone asks you if they should set me up with some woman they know, the answer should be an emphatic NO.

I am in no position to entertain arranged dates, nor am I looking to be a potential husband to the woman in question. I do not wish to be the father of her unborn children either. I am not a domestic man.

In summary:

I don't want to be married.

I don't want kids.

I don't have the means to date these women who are entrenched in the corporate world or whatever their world is.

I seek to live a life of wine women and song. It's all I ever wanted.

I know you have no say in who does what but should they ask you first, it's a big no. I can't help them. Tell them to go set her up with a doctor or lawyer looking for the house and 2.5 kids. I just want to be left alone.

Too many matchmakers who don't understand I'm not playing by traditional rules.

Oy vey.

Oh, Does She Really?

2010-06-15T22:40:00.004-04:00

I've learned, not so long ago, that one particular friend DOES NOT like stories of my adventures, even though for well over two decades they've clearly indicated the contrary!

This says a number of things to me, none of which are good.

You've enabled me to place you in a position that makes you uncomfortable without me knowing you were feeling such.

This is something I don't like doing to any of my friends and usually, most of my friends will say "Ricardo, I don't want to know." This is fine because actually, they do know and have come to expect nothing less. Telling them specifics is formality because they know my life is very strange and even if they've never heard it before, they have heard it all before. This actually saves me time and energy as I don't have to recount the tale of madness yet I still get support and love.

You are lying to me and for what?

For over 20 years you did not like hearing these stories (the kind that make it onto this blog) yet sat there, in gales of laughter, as if you loved every second of it. Not only did you laugh, you demanded more!! Each and every time, you demanded MORE and encouraged it!! The audacity of you to then turn around to your spouse and say that I should not share crazy stories of what's been happening to me when you ask, "what's new with you Ricardo?" Not only do you not tell me you don't want to hear it, you have your significant other do it for you. FUCK YOU!!!

You really don't care about me.

Seriously, after all this time I would have thought that you, your spouse, and I could tell each other anything and everything yet you have been reduced to puff ball, daytime TV banter. I was under the impression that we had conversations, not small talk. I had no idea I became too stormy for your prudish suburban ways and put your tiresome middle class view of morality in jeopardy. If only life was so simple. Newsflash babe, it's not. Not for me at least. Which is why I prefer conversation to small talk, but oh wait, your tender ears can't deal with anything beyond your suburban bubble. Pardon me while I grind it out in the REAL FUCKING WORLD!!! From now on I won't tell you about my problems or crazy escapades. From now on I'll give what you want, which goes something like.....THIS:

Backstabbing Friend: Oh hey Ricardo, how are you?

Me: Sparkling. I just planted a bed of petunias. I think they're going to grow in splendidly this season!!! By the way, I just did a painting of your house for the local arts and crafts show! Let's see if it gains positive comment! Well, off to choral group practice!!!

Yes, how fucking boring and an out and out fraud!! But if that's what you want, then fine. I hope you choke on the saccharine.

BITCH!

(uprooting a plant from her home garden, throwing it against the wall, and leaving)

Everyone Remain Calm, the Blog is NOT Ending!!!

2010-06-13T01:33:00.003-04:00

I guess my last post might have given you loyal readers the wrong impression. I'm sorry about that. For the record, I am NOT quitting the blog. What I was saying in my prior post is that I may have a difficult time updating it as I find a steady residence.

NO the blog is not shutting down.

YES I opened my Facebook profile to friends as a precaution should I be without access to a computer. It's easier to update Facebook with my phone than to blog with it.

YES please continue to come by as I have much more to share here than on Facebook.
If I did end the blog it would be on a much grander note than what I previously wrote. Do you guys really think I'd end the blog with such a whimper? After all these years!?!? I personally don't think so and know so. And you?

YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU KNOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!

(clasps hands behind head, thrusts hips repeatedly in a lewd, sexually suggestive and vulgar manner, then runs away)

Facebook Profile is Open to Friend Requests

2010-06-12T01:37:00.005-04:00

Since I don't know what's going to happen to me or this blog, I have opened my Facebook profile to friend requests. Maintaining this blog may be a bit tricky in the coming weeks so I want to make sure I have some means to stay in contact with you. So, if you wish to be friends just leave me a comment and I'll crank out a request.

This DOES NOT mean the blog will shut down. It will continue but I want to have my bases covered.

This Mailbox May Be Cool, But the Local Post Office Sucks Balls

2010-06-09T02:41:00.006-04:00

I am thrilled that we have these fun R2-D2 mailboxes for me to take pictures of around my city. But beyond this, it's nothing but a horror show when it comes to reliable mail delivery.

As we know, I am now transient. I'm sleeping in the bed of a very nice young woman who is away and happens to be art and fetish model as well a DJ, stripper and landscaper. I had a wonderful discussion with her about some fetish videos she did where she crushed bugs. Who knew this turned people on? Anyway, because she will be returning, I can only be here for 2 weeks. I will then move to another place for 2 months and after that I have no idea what the hell is going to happen. So this places me in quite the quandary in regards to my mail. Where does it go?

Well, the last guy that owns the place I was originally supposed to stay at was kind enough to let me use his place as my address. Hell, I only got everything in my life changed to that address before being told the room couldn't be lived in! I'd also like to mention that all my paychecks (as well as unemployment checks) got lost in the transition and I went for almost a month without any income.

But here is what pissed me off. I filled out the forms with the Post Office CLEARLY STATING THIS WAS GOING TO BE MY NEW ADDRESS and they refused to deliver mail to me for the first few weeks that I was there! Why? They didn't see any name tags on the mail box. So they sent all my checks back!!! There is no requirement for name tags on mailboxes!!

I confronted the letter carrier (cocksucker) in question about why he would send my mail back when he admitted that I'm in the "system" as being at this address. He couldn't answer. So, in order to aid the brain dead, I put up a huge sign with my name on the mailbox to make everyone happy! However I hasten to point out that all the mailboxes I've had at prior residences never had my name on it. All was working well until my name tag came off for a few days.

Despite not filling out a change of address form, the letter carrier (cocksucker) began sending my mail back and not delivering it!!

I called the Post Office and spoke to him, the cocksucking, mother fucking letter carrier!

Me: Are you going to deliver my mail or what?

Letter Carrier (cocksuker/mother fucker): I sent the mail back. Your name tag was gone. A package too.

Me: Do you see anything that says I changed my address?

Letter Carrier (asshole/dumb ass): No. I'll try to retrieve the package.

Me: I'm expecting paychecks and I better get them. And the stuff that was sent back better not have been one of my checks!

Letter Carrier (numb nuts): No I don't think so.

Me: Just give me my fucking mail. That's all I ask. Forget about name tags, just deliver the mail! For my own sanity and well being.

Ladies and gentleman, it is my wish that the employees of the local Postal Service here contract scurvy.

Head Toward The Light

2010-06-05T12:47:00.001-04:00

It's 3 AM. I'm with a waitress from an establishment I was at before. Her friends that work there say she likes me. Even if she is a pain in the ass, her other female coworkers say to press on. The waitress hasn't been with a man in years and needs to get laid. Their words, not mine. All women.

We talked all night, something must have been there. We shared our dark secrets, she cried a little bit here and there, but we talked and talked.

So it's 3 in the morning, we're waiting for her cab. Her thick Liverpool accent is becoming hard to understand but it's fine. Her harshness is wearing thin.

Waitress: So what happens when you don't make it as an actor? What can you possibly do with your life?

Me: Why are you so sure I won't "make it?"

Waitress: You're just not, no one does, so then what?

Me: I guess it's off to the coal mines for me then, isn't it? Besides, I don't really think about not making it. I just do what I do and I'm proud of what I've done so far.

That hurt until I realized through our long encounter that she is someone that chooses to lose, chooses to be unhappy, chooses to not trust (some of it justified) and chooses to stay closed off. It's a guarded life and I'm guarded about things also but not to this point. I saw a tragedy, I saw a woman that wouldn't allow herself to live or dream and made excuses to stay that way. She turned away from the light, I'm trying to keep it in view. There's no other choice, no other way to live or feel alive.

No, my silly charms and pickup game were not at fault this early morning. The opposing ways of thinking were. The cab arrived.

Me: What, not even a kiss goodnight? Remember I'm not going to make it. This could be my final days before oblivion.

Waitress: No....

She then gave me a long hug that said more than anything we talked about all night. It was the warmth and wanting that she fought hard to conceal coming through. I can't fight for her affections. She's too far gone. I know there's a better woman out there that will understand all of me and all of this. Until then, I will just enjoy the moments.

I'm in bed as I tap this out on my phone. I looked up and saw the light pictured above. It's in the room I'm staying in. That's when the idea for this post hit me and my time with her finally made sense.

Grand Avenue

2010-06-03T00:19:00.001-04:00

There's a stretch of road called Grand Avenue which I must pass through to get to my temporary residence. It actually starts where I was living, goes through a rough stretch of urban jungle, and then turns into a nice area all over again. I'm trying to see this as an analogy for my life at the moment. I'm at the ugly part of the road.

I'm very concerned about things. I'm wondering where I will end up and how good of a place it will be. I feel that the poor handling of where I was previously (by the buildings owner) will have very negative and long term consequences on me. I wasn't ready to relocate when I moved there and don't have the resources to glide into a shiny new place on such short notice. I needed that place to regroup and build momentum and I was until the bad news arrived.

I guess what angers me about this situation is that if my life gets thrown into turmoil, I'd rather it be of my own doing. I feel like someone else did it to me this time and it was through nothing sinister. Even so, I'm still very angry at the whole state of things.

It's been hard to think about acting this week. I sort of don't want to perform or put on an act. I just want to lay low. Now I know acting will serve as an escape but I just don't have the drive for it at the moment.

A lot of ugly flashbacks from my prior bout of being without a place came to the surface and I'm fighting with it all. I'm trying to believe that those who said I was nothing and couldn't be anything were wrong. And I must realize that this incident is not the same as the previous one. This was a major fuck up by a guy who had it all wrong and I took the short end of it. Still, the similarities rattle my brain.

So I will travel up and down Grand Avenue and endure the goods spots and bad in my daily travels. Thes best I can do is keep driving until I find a nice stretch that I can truly call home.

Moving Out.......AGAIN!

2010-05-31T01:42:00.003-04:00

As many of you may well know, I am forced to move out once more from my residence. I'm not thrilled about this, but it's just the way things ended up. I have sweat and toiled with moving for the better part of the day in high heat and I'm now ready for a rest.

I had a minor reprieve with my former Mixologist and her former fellow staff members at a local tavern. She was in top form claiming the mosquitoes targeted her and more specifically, her feet. She and our company at the time were a bit tipsy so this lead to us making light of her. Frustrated at being the butt of the joke she left us. However I must thank her for being one of the key players in getting me a temporary place to stay. Without her help, I'd be in a cardboard box on a street corner.

I'm not happy with the current situation but I must make the best of it because I have little choice to do otherwise. I'm glad and quite fortunate to have such a supportive base of friends and you can rest assured I won't be out in the streets. At least, not for too long.

I'm feeling like quite the drifter these days. When I'm not at my best, I'm at my worst and when I think of home, there's nothing to think about. I don't know what will happen to me from one week to the next. There's no middle ground. This can be exhausting emotionally but I will try and manage.

Here's to surviving in order to live to the fullest.

Member of the the Board

2010-05-29T12:24:00.006-04:00

Well if things couldn't get anymore interesting, I suddenly have found myself designated a member of the board of directors at my local synagogue giving me sway within the congregation to some extent, I suppose. I'm really not sure what to make of it.

Now we all know I'm no angel or the most pious man you've ever met. But it's good to know I'm wanted and liked enough to be given this position. I don't know about you, but I sense a lot of interesting stories coming out of this experience.

This Friday I was was greeting by several people who wished me luck as a new member and yet another individual who knew a nice Jewish girl that was a lawyer and single.

I overheard this person asking for the Rabbi's permission first to which the Rabbi responded, "I don't know. Ask him. I can tell you he doesn't like stalkers."

So I prepared for the awkward moment and when asked about this women I said, "She's a lawyer? I can't afford her."

"Well she's a government lawyer. She really wants to meet Jewish men. Very pretty. Petite." He exclaimed. "Still too pricey, can't help her. There's gotta be a doctor or dentist around here that can. If she's really nice he might even get her a ring with enough karats to beat out the rings her married friends have. " And with that, I promptly left wondering what I will do as a new member of the board.

I Know It's Crazy, But it's True!

2010-05-27T01:38:00.007-04:00

Another day pulling off a collar on "White Collar" and in a major scene to boot.

Hot, drenched in sweat, wanting to go home. I'm in a FBI windbreaker and matching FBI hat in 90 plus degree heat, pretending I'm prying open a trunk. Go left,right, faster,slower, somehow I get it right and end up featured not once but twice on a prime time show. Everyone says you can't do that. I just did, and so have others who don't follow those who say "can't." Did I mention I'm in a long sleeve shirt with a tie? Hot, oppressive, draining. Oh yes, I wish it would rain. It does not.

I want relief, I want to be cool. I want water! I want to quench my thirst.

Cut loose, I begin the venture home. My touch screen phone has a cracked screen. What good is it now? No good. I loose touch with the rest of the world as I come home, take a cold shower, and plot my next move.

A chance meeting with neighbors. Salsa night has begun at a local hot spot. I worked hard today, time to have fun. They invite me to come along. I follow them, make progress with a schoolteacher by day, and dance with a Nubian princess in between while making headway with her friend. I want to get to know the school teacher better. I think she wants to know me better. She teaches arts and English. I know a thing or two about performing. I'd really like to get to know her.

Closing time. I'm hungry. I get pizza and other food from a pizza place that's a moment away from closing. I venture off before they toss me out. Lightning in the sky. I know I'll be stuck in a storm.

Down comes the rain, the lightning, the thunder. My first reaction is to seek shelter. But actually this is what I've wanted all day. A dream come true. I walk through it, take off my shirt, hold out my arms and defy the heavens to strike me with lightning as I walk through the park in the dead of night. It does not happen. I let the water wash over me and allow myself a dose of insanity which is, in fact, freedom.