Comments on U N L O A D E D: Part IV: Why Men are "Men"

bravo to you my friend...and well said.the series ...

2010-03-02T05:36:40.677-05:00

bravo to you my friend...and well said.

the series was everything that should be spoken, but never ever is.

JohnB - Thanks friend. It's hard being a guy and ...

2008-01-31T08:44:48.720-05:00

JohnB - Thanks friend. It's hard being a guy and we need something that explains why. I'm no shrink but I gave it my best shot and was honest about it. I will likely never get a date again if enough women read this, but I am doing it for the greater good of man. LOL!

bravo to you my friend...and well said.the series ...

2008-01-31T00:42:44.019-05:00

bravo to you my friend...and well said.

the series was everything that should be spoken, but never ever is.

Nellioness - Love ya! Thanks! I actually had a "fe...

2008-01-29T14:43:36.580-05:00

Nellioness - Love ya! Thanks! I actually had a "feminist" come on here saying she wanted to deck me and that I'm covering up the fact that I'm scared of being a lonely old man. LOL!

Yep, Ricardo, it surely clears up some things. Hel...

2008-01-29T10:21:29.899-05:00

Yep, Ricardo, it surely clears up some things. Helpful.

Nelli - Thank you so much for taking the time to r...

2008-01-28T13:13:00.804-05:00

Nelli - Thank you so much for taking the time to read it all and sharing your thoughts. I knew you'd enjoy this series. I hope it clears up some things in your interactions with men.

Wheeeew...Thanks Ric, it was a genuine pleasure to...

2008-01-28T10:45:20.664-05:00

Wheeeew...

Thanks Ric, it was a genuine pleasure to read through your fantastic posts about "men's world". Good writing. Excellent style. Enjoyable details. So clear and explaining.

"Another thing ladies, when men tell other men they look great it's much different than when you say it to each other and it has nothing to do with feelings of homosexuality"

and...

"I have no issue at all with our gay counterparts but if I were a betting man, I'd say that there are gay men, and there are gay "men.""

These points won my heart.

Let me say my conclusion from what I've read in your "men" posts:

This is a man's world, but it would be nothing without a woman

;)

Leah I'm really glad this was of help to you and I...

2008-01-26T21:02:49.884-05:00

Leah I'm really glad this was of help to you and I hope it clears up some things. We're not all born evil, LOL!

I've been reading & re-reading this series...I lov...

2008-01-26T20:26:06.137-05:00

I've been reading & re-reading this series...I love it!

Now that I know you're all human-that changes everything.

Thanks? :)

Marsha - LOL! I had to pull tough and menacing be...

2008-01-26T17:33:03.784-05:00

Marsha - LOL! I had to pull tough and menacing before when I lived in a very dangerous neighborhood in New Haven CT. People thought I was an undercover cop and one time they tried to get me to snort coke to prove I wasn't. I didn't touch the stuff and was able to talk my way out of it. Those acting skills sure payed off in that situation. That picture just cracks me up.

I meant to reply the other day. You make a good th...

2008-01-26T10:37:29.508-05:00

I meant to reply the other day. You make a good thug...'cause I would be scared if you walked in behind me at a circle K. :)

Deb those insight are greatly valued here because ...

2008-01-25T22:48:47.887-05:00

Deb those insight are greatly valued here because it gives us yet another perspective on a side I'm not exposed to. In a way, hearing what you have to say, helps me better understand lots of women and how they thing in a strange way.

I am a selfish bastard and proud of it. :-P

If he won't shovel the driveway - then we call the...

2008-01-25T22:46:27.442-05:00

If he won't shovel the driveway - then we call them "bastards"! hehe! Ok, bad joke.

Ricardoooooooooooo, I would never want you to cover the homosexual aspects of it - I love hearing the hetero side of the world! I just love giving you a little piece of my life and the dynamics of it.

Dr.A - Good points. I have absolutely no issue wi...

2008-01-25T22:38:14.379-05:00

Dr.A - Good points. I have absolutely no issue with women wanting to have end enjoy many of the things that we men may take for granted. If there is inequality in the workplace or society and a woman's freedoms are restricted, then we could certainly use some feminism to bring things into balance. They have the right to want this and politically organize to achieve it. However there are radical sects of this group that seem to despise men and ship us all off to the moon and they also call themselves feminists. I don't think that helps either side.

I also agree with you on people who put an "ism" before who they are. Where is the individual? Show me that. It's so much more interesting.

ALF - LOL! Take the toy that he loves the most and hold a sledge hammer over it then issue the ultimatum. Or, for a softer touch, find the sexiest outfit you have and tell him he can't "get with this until he shovels this" Then point him to the driveway. If that doesn't work, hit him repeatedly in the shins with the shovel until he gives in.

I want my husband to shovel our driveway. Why won...

2008-01-25T19:31:50.434-05:00

I want my husband to shovel our driveway. Why won't he do it?

well, ricardo, it seems as if you have some cheele...

2008-01-25T16:55:20.958-05:00

well, ricardo, it seems as if you have some cheeleaders here.....

i`m not really sure what a feminist is, other than a political entity serving a group`s needs.

if i was constantly going on about what i needed and formed a group or suggested membership in such a group with the express purpose of politically pressuring others to meet my needs, i would expect resistance......

i question the motives of people who call themselves anything that identifies them as memebers of anything first.

fist and last name is all i need.

oh yeah, and a smile.......

MsQ - Yes I think this is some of the best work I'...

2008-01-25T15:33:58.114-05:00

MsQ - Yes I think this is some of the best work I've done and I stand by it. The issue with people like Kelly is they don't read and just assume. It's obvious from her comment that's what she did. Also it would not go over well if I went onto a woman's blog and insinuated that I wanted to deck her based on something she wrote and I took out of context. I don't see feminism with her, I see hypocrisy predicated on stupidity. This runs through many a man and woman.

I said from the beginning this would not be a piece that squarely places the blame on women nor did I set out to bash women. People that take the time to read this series and posses critical faculties will clearly understand. People with agendas and an inherent hatred for the male sex will go the way of Kelly. Her response was classic and typical for these types.

I was as honest as I could possibly be here. It's not often that a man will put his balls on the chopping board like this. It's very hard for us to do.

Moving on, the more secure a man is with himself the more people will get thrown off by it. I think many women are used to the insecure type and don't know what to make of a guy that's at easy with his quirks.

Mind you I'm not a pretty boy metro sexual. I just iron my cloths and comb my hair But even that is odd for some women that I encounter. What really gets them is being open with my feelings and articulate.

I have been through hell and back alone in my life so I really could care less if I grow old alone. I've been battle hardened and taxes scare me more than that.

I totally get your friend. I could date far more often than I do but it's not worth the brain damage. I'm very at ease with where I am and don't need to date for a sense of self worth.

Dr.A - Some of the hatred of men that passes for f...

2008-01-25T14:43:03.784-05:00

Dr.A - Some of the hatred of men that passes for feminism these days would have Susan B Anthony turning in her grave. I’ve encountered many women who declare themselves feminist who really just hate men because they got dumped or passed over by guys in their teens and it's a carry over from high school that gets reinforced in college. I ask you, what good does that do to the ideals of feminism and how does it achieve a better understanding of the opposite sex? It’s not feminism, it’s women wallowing in their angst and making men the scapegoat so they don’t have to solve their own issues. But again, this isn’t feminism, it’s something else and I’m not taking the heat for it. The genuine feminists I have encountered actually get along well with me. Some of them read this blog.

I need 2 beautiful women waving a "go ricardo go" sign one day. LOL1

i was refering to the bravado and machismo of femi...

2008-01-25T12:55:42.081-05:00

i was refering to the bravado and machismo of feminism, another silly costume.....to extend the device.

and to ~deb, i don`t mind people thinking i might be homosexual, i am tall, lean and fit and i dress well and am articulate in my speech and so i take it as a complement if that could suggest a certain sexual orientation.

i am comfortable enough in my self that it`s not important what people thing of me casually.

and ricardo, the programming that culture impart to us about sex-roles is what divides us, and it takes a lot of energy to break the programming, as you have seen here.

it takes a long time for a woman to get to really know the culture of men as humans. some of my younger college age friends seem to do it reasonably, but sex does change things.......and at my age i value thier friendship and companionship more than sex.

two of my girlfriends came out to one of my soccer games last year and brought a huge banner that said go-alistair-go on it. they are two of the most beautiful omen you will ever meet and they are sincerely just friends.

you couldn`t convince my team-mates or thier wives and girlfriends though...and i didn`t try.

Dr.A - That's what's so funny. The so called "femi...

2008-01-25T10:38:50.697-05:00

Dr.A - That's what's so funny. The so called "feminist" (cough....Kelly) thinks it's perfectly fine to take a swing at me and spout personal insults and I, as man, must sit there and take it because it's coming from a woman. And I guess the reaction of a man who has spilled his soul to a woman and had it rejected should not be mad at all because the woman has no accountability in a relationship. It's all the man's fault and he should not have angry thoughts, he should say "Oh fiddle sticks, she doesn't like me. Good heavens, what ever will I do? I should know better than to think myself worthy of her attention. I'm too crude of a being. Golly geez."

This is not feminism, it's manipulation and emasculation in the guise of it. There is a big difference.

As far as Bravado and Machismo go, this series was a critique on the short comings of those things. Do I not call it a silly costume in the post?

"we can do one of two things.

set up two camps and talk about each other alone....or hang out together and enjoy each other’s company as equals and see what happens."

Right on. I agree. And that is what I was hoping to accomplish with this series.

oh and monique, please don`t be bitter....i learne...

2008-01-25T10:00:30.680-05:00

oh and monique, please don`t be bitter....

i learned something about myself and women this last year.

i am an evolving spirit with the need to be in a relationship for all the human reasons, and women are delightful, enigmatic creatures that are as confused and desirous and scared and intrigued as i am.

we can do one of two things.

set up two camps and talk about eachother alone....or hang out together and enjoy eachother`s company as equals and see what happens.

the thing is.....it is our own state that either attracts or rejects.

learn to align yourself with your own beauty and attractiveness (and this statement alone flies in the face of common thought) and you will be suprised at how others will be attracted to you.

ok so how do women think men react when you are ba...

2008-01-25T09:53:25.290-05:00

ok so how do women think men react when you are badging yourselves with the feminist title, ladies?

what does this bravado or machismo hide?

this shit goes both ways......

Deb - Thank you for actually reading and seeing th...

2008-01-25T08:30:54.243-05:00

Deb - Thank you for actually reading and seeing the point of what I was trying to say. Most of my readers are women and even if they weren’t, I’m not the hateful type. I've even been called a bitch myself in way to show fondness! How about that?

I could not cover the dynamics of a male/male or female/female relationships because I could not write about them with any real honesty or authenticity. That would not be fair to members of the gay and lesbian community. But from what you are sharing here, it seems to be more of the same. This is very interesting to me because although the same genders are present in the coupling, there are pseudo gender roles none the less. If gender roles is the wrong term, then there is there is still the dominant / submissive thing going on.

You like that silly picture? I got some other funny ones like that which I took for this series. We do put on the tough guy roll and it can be pretty lame. Hence the ridiculous picture.

Glad the “bravado” from this lonely old man didn’t offend you. LOL!

God, men have it hard, don't they? Living under t...

2008-01-25T07:08:50.231-05:00

God, men have it hard, don't they? Living under this facade of "toughness" just so they won't be seen as a homosexual.

I'm so glad I'm a lesbian!!! (ha)

As far as the word "bitch" goes - this could be applied to men too...heh...but I didn't take offense to it at all, only because it was used in the context of "You don't understand me dammit!" So, it made sense. No hurt feelings. (I'll scream at you later bitch!)

I know this post goes with a man and woman scenario, however, with two women, there's always a dominating one - a "tougher" one - which would be yours truly - me. I sometimes will say things when I mean the total opposite - trying to make her understand, "I need you here with me!" ...but I don't want to be seen as this controlling...umm..."bitch", so I say, "Oh, no, go ahead sweetie, I'll be fine here...alone...again." ha. Get my drift?

Great well thought out post!!!

*Squeezes you in that tough guy suit*

KELLY - Well kelly, I was using the word as an exa...

2008-01-25T00:23:00.344-05:00

KELLY - Well kelly, I was using the word as an example of how a man MIGHT think after being rejected. Not really how I feel. I think you're jumping to conclusions and misreading it all entirely. I do sense some bitterness in you.

I also think you need to read the series before you make such a sweeping judgment on me. I question and attack bravado in this series.

Furthermore I don't think you really read this. I think you skimmed it.

As for there ever being a real reason to call a woman the B word...well act like one and you may be called one just as a man can earn a nasty name for himself if he acts like an ass. There is such a thing as accountability for ones actions and bad names come with that territory.

I'm not afraid of being alone. I work better that way.

One last thing Kelly, look at the comments throughout this blog. The majority of my readers are WOMEN! Why do you think that is?