365 days of madness are coming to a close and what an emotional roller coaster its been. I'm broke and haven't found a steady job but I decided to get back into acting. So far, I got on 2 TV shows, one short film, one major film and had a commercial audition. While most of it was background, it's a start and better than nothing. They didn't have to use me as much as they did as there are thousands who don't get called at all. I even got my own spot and name tag on the wardrobe rack for Nurse Jackie. They spelled Ricardo wrong (see image below) but it was still just the coolest thing for me. It felt like I had earned a place there.
I worked enough to become a member of a professional actors union (AFTRA) and most people I talk to feel that I'm going to be just fine in the world of show business. I hope they're right and I hope to see what they see in me when they make such statements. It's all right in front of my face, I just need to open my eyes. 2009 has taught me to there's no time to waste so fucking open them.
Everything this year has been boom or bust. There's just nothing in between. I look back with utter disbelief with how far I have come and how long I have to go but at least (I'd like to hope) that I got somewhere. Maybe it was a sign when places like Applebee's and AT&T shunned me. Maybe life was telling me that I am destined for better things and I just needed to make the leap. I took the leap and there are still more leaps I have to take. But I think these will get easier.
Many people thought I was nuts for getting back into acting. Hell, some of you may have thought the same. It's not totally illogical to arrive at that conclusion. I hold no grudge against you f you did. My friends have all gone their separate ways, we communicate by text messaging mostly. I recall telling one of them how I got called to be on this show and that show. Never responded. I knew what his silence meant. Finally when Nurse Jackie ended, he wrote back to me.
Friend: This is great for you but also ludicrous. You know this.
Me: It is...
Friend: LOL! This is the stuff of our stupid scenarios.
Yes, dear readers, it was. Back when we were in college we would come up with all sorts of fantasies and scenarios about living out our dreams and having brushes with the big time. If I can say anything positive about 2009, it's that some of those scenarios came true.
Here's to living out more great scenarios and dreams for 2010.
Happy New Year everybody.
