You know, ladies and gentleman, I had big plans for doing an ongoing series about match.com. I still do, actually, but am wavering on whether or not I want to go through with it.
I am not above putting myself through torture for your good reading and entertainment. However, there are some things that are putting me ill at ease.
I know the 6 month promise that match.com advertises is a sham. They claim you can meet someone "special" in 6 months, or your money back. What they do not tell you is that you have to pony up over $100 up front as opposed to paying month to month. What they also don't define is who exactly is "special" which can mean anything and would get them off the hook for paying you back. Remember, this is a company that needs money to survive. They are not making this offer out of the kindness of their hearts. There is always a hitch.
Places like this want a small percentage to meet someone, hit it off and get hitched but they don't want everyone to or else they would go under. They need people to keep chasing the dream of meeting someone and keep them hoping for as long as they can. But they also need the success stories for their TV ads and marketing.
match.com fanboy/girl: My cousin's sister's brother got married from match.com and so did their cousin's sister's brother. Match.com is the real deal and you don't know what you're talking about. And I hate you!!
Thank you. As I eluded to before, when you have millions of people flooding the servers of match.com the law of averages dictates that there will be success at some level. I understand that. But for most people this is a money drain and for others, an outright scam.
I don't know if I want to sink over $100 bucks into oblivion for this story. I find looking through profiles boring and, more often than not, misleading. And I also know this beyond a shadow of a doubt:
I DON"T FUCKING NEED NO STINKING MATCH.COM TO MEET SOMEONE!!!!!
Really I don't, nor do the many people on it. But it's become so ubiquitous that people trick themselves into thinking this is a needed procedure.
So, lets say I do go through with this. What would I put on the profile? What suggestions do you have? What type of women do you want me to seek out? Should I have you choose from their profiles by placing them on this blog? Have you do a little vote? Sound like fun? It's likely a violation of their terms of service, but who fucking cares? This is entertainment. Throw all your suggestions into the comments section.
But remember, I reserve the right to pull the plug on this story and you will all accept it and like it. For it is within my right as I am a divine soothsayer!!!
Monday, October 13, 2008
A Fools Matching
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19 PEOPLE HAVE UNLOADED:
Relax my friend... if you don't want to write about match.com that's fine!
However I do like the voting idea you could link their profiles and we could go take a look and try to vote on them.
What type of women do you want me to seek out?
The Hot Kind! Ones with sexy pics in their profile.
Well I read all the legal stuff and the more I read the more I know that I'm kissing my $100 plus goodbye. For fucks sake, the boob job website was a fraction of the cost and I got inundated with pics and videos of bare breasts. What's wrong with this picture? LOL!
one of our patients tried internet dating. he didn't find love but it was fun to write about....
http://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2007/12/18/sole-mate/
Ricardo-I think blog polling is the only way to go here. It'll be like your own personal dating reality show. Fun for everyone :)
Nurse - LOL! Poor Maurice. Ms.78 sounds like a winner. Did he ever find love?
Leah - That's what I'm thinking. his could go somewhere. It will be strange, interesting, ghastly, and funny.
oh, ricardo!
"For it is within my right as I am a divine soothsayer!!!"
if so, you'd KNOW who was right for you!! :-)
Libby - I suppose you're right. I just couldn't think of anything else to say that would have as much of an impact. I heard it once while watching wrestling. They used it to explain away an obvious error in the storyline (I think one of the wrestlers got suspended for abusing the no steroid policy) So the head of WWE came out , got the crowd really angry and declared himself a grand soothsayer. LOL!
...oh, btw, ric, i wrote an opinion today i think you'd agree with...can i get your opinion, please?
ricardo--just leave it at "cuz i am oz, the great and powerful..."
I did Match.Com and um, HATED it. So yeah...Steer Clear of that Hot Mess.
Libby - That does one up the grand soothsayer bit.
Meleah - Not only is it a mess, it's EXPENSIVE!! Why so much money. If I'm going to have to start dropping hundreds just to get in the door and stay in, I'll go to the bunny ranch in Vegas.
It would be fun if you posted the profiles on the site and let us chose. Maybe you can hook up a secret date cam and broadcast live when you meet these folks. Maybe live blog while she goes and powders her nose or something. Perhaps, do a pre and post date blog entry.
So much can be done with this. But yes, please, keep us entertained. I've never been one to sign up for such things but seeing that this endeavor requires some monetary supplement why not blog about it.
For every Match.com that makes you pony up a few hundred, there are those so-called social networking sites that are "free". And they are a pain in the ass, which is why I avoid them like the plague. When Spongybones (remember him, SJ!?) wanted me to do those joke tests with him. I had to join insofar as give an email, user name and I was dumb enough to put my city and photo. I didn't know it was a dating site. (I didn't read the fine print.Kudos, Ricardo!) Men were rating me on my answers to the tests! Jesus! Those tests are just jokes--they are meant to be fun. I said I was married so I didn't see that I was advertising myself, but I got tons of people, probably married themselves and wanting some side action. I even heard from a guy I work with who met my husband.
I know you can fall in love over the internet and some can live happily ever after. But for most people,they get slammed by kooks. I'm careful now. I don't want to start dreading to open my email.
I once put a fake ad up on a free personals service. I came up with, what I thought, was the most repugnant character I could.
I make my false poster out to be a foul-mouthed, misogynistic, porn addicted psychopath.
Frighteningly enough, I got more replies, legitimate replies, to that ad than I ever did to any real and honest one.
"I'll go to the bunny ranch in Vegas."
LOL
Of course they are expensive. It's like the 'no win no fee' thing. When you win (and they will make damn sure you do) you get about ten percent ( If you're very lucky, it could be as little as one percent) of the money what should have been rightfully yours to keep. It's all a big con and I am still amazed that people fall for it.
Your profile (just for fun)?
put on a wig and make-up
declare that you have several houses and own a hotel
you are seeking a mid fifties reliable spinster who must own a mastiff as it is your favorite dog but you are allergic to them
lol
Go for it Ricardo.....You are a very young man and this could be where you meet the girl who completes your life....... leave no stone unturned my friend. I do agree with SJ on seeking out "The Hot Kind"!.....but knowing you I think that is a given. LoL
Good Luck my friend and it would be really cool if you stopped by my new blog about skateboarding over 40.
Thx,
Clay
Urban - It does require quite a bit of cash and may I ass that they also try to nickle and dime you with all sorts of little extras that can bring it up to around 200 bucks after 6 months. All these ideas you are putting out are great ones. I like your thinking. but this is entertainment. I am not one to foolishly think love awaits from these sites.
Enemy - I ALWAYS read the fine print when a deal that's too good to be true come along. But this site spongy brought you to, I may not have looked at the fine print for that one. Amazing the people you'll find on such sites as well. At least you know you still have the stuff based on the reception. But there are lots of weirdos with to put up with also.
Thomas - What does that say about the state of affairs with these sites!?!?! Maybe I should put something like that up. What type of women responded?
Meleah - Why should I have to pay that much just to get in the door of a dating site. This is not a deal! OK it covers 6 months but still. Match.com is not worth that much. EVER!
Middleditch - There are some very old long standing scams that still seem to pull people in. Why? I fear we will never know.
Clay - Meet the woman that completes my life? No one completes Ricardo but Ricardo. save the codependent BS for the daytime talk show crowd. LOL! But seriously, trying can't hurt. but that price tag. Ouch. I could just go to a bar.
I can't wait to check out the new site.
My mom did Match.com. She had put joining an online dating service on her "to do" list and she ended up being a nervous wreck. But she wanted to say she had tried it. She didn't like men her age - some funny comments by her there - and unlike me, she dislikes writing.
"I just wanna have fun, go out, get taken to dinner...I'm not..suh-suh-suh...that thing with the brain like you."
Me: "Cerebral?"
Mom: Yeah.
The interface confused her, responding confused her but she did go out on a few dates.
Mom: So much work! I gotta wash my hair, do all this fluffing stuff. For what?! Booooo.
A bit of paraphrasing but in the end:
Mom: glad my subscription ran out. They offered me 6 more months free. Forget it. Glad it's over. Stress! Phew!
I did meet a couple at my high school reunion who had met via Match. I've done free searches just to check out who's "available" and I saw many familiar faces from other dating sites.
Not much into Match.com - I say try the free one Dr. A found his love at: PlentyOfFish.
I checked it out myself. I saw some familiar faces as well as many totally new ones. I think this type of site would attract more people who'd interest us and vice-versa.
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