Part II: The Girlfriend Room

Previously on U N L O A D E D..........

A strange vivid dream through a surreal amusement park.

Man at the Gate: Step up to the girlfriend room boys!! Don't be shy!!! Meet and interact with the girl of your dreams!!!

Me: What's really going on in there?

Man at the Gate: An experience that's just like being with your girlfriend. ANYTHING can happen. It's just like the real thing!!!

I take my seat and wait for a girlfriend to arrive.

Girlfriend: Hey cutie. I'll be down in just a second.

The wait is finally over!

Here She Comes!

The sound of high heels walking down the steps grew louder. A door opens. Before me is what can best be described as the classic all American girl next door. Young and fresh with light brown hair, blue eyes, full lips, long legs leading up to a nice firm butt and a chest that says, "maybe I had a boob job and maybe I didn't, you'll have to feel it out for yourself." OK, maybe she was a little too hot to be just labeled the girl next door, but that was the essence she exuded. A prom queen in high school, a sorority girl that lead the pack in college and now a young woman that turned heads wherever she walked. She flashes me a warm smile.

Girlfriend: Hi.

Me: Hey.

I was really starting to like this.

Girlfriend: C'mon, follow me to our room so we can get comfortable.

She leads me to a room downstairs. It looks like an average living room. There's a couch and TV which is on.

Girlfriend: By the way my name is...

Her voice fades out. I can't here it. I don't want make her repeat herself so I play along as if I heard her.

Girlfriend: Let's have a seat on the couch.

Me: OK.

She looks me dead in the eye and smiles, like she's ready to give me a kiss. She could melt an iceberg with her gaze. I'm ready for her but then her cell phone rings.

Girlfriend: Hello? Hi there! Oh my god are you fucking kidding me? I know! Tell me about it, I....she is not! No she isn't. Are you serious! She looks like a cow in that dress! Whatever, to each their own. Right. Uh-huh. Totally! Ha! I know. Gotta run my man is over. Yeah. He says hi. OK. Bye.

She hangs up.

Girlfriend: Doesn't she look like a total cow when she wears that outfit with swirly the things on it?

Me: Who?

Girlfriend: What? You don't know my friends all of a sudden? You saw her at the last party, I pointed out how awful she looks. Weren't you paying attention?

Me: Um....I don't.....

Girlfriend: Hey, do you mind if I get into something more comfortable before we start?

As best as I can recall, she had a short denim skirt or Daisy Duke like short shorts and a tank top that really showed off her flat stomach and boobs. I was ready to see more.

Me: Sure.

She walks into another room. I see the remote on the coffee table and start flipping through the channels.

From the other room she calls out to me.

Girlfriend: American Idol is on tonight, right?

Me: I don't know, I don't watch that really.

Girlfriend: Yes you do!

Me: No, really I don't.

She comes out wearing.........

AN OVER SIZED T-SHIRT AND SWEAT PANTS!

She sits next to me on the couch and cuddles next to me.

Girlfriend: All my boyfriends watch American Idol.

A Turn For the Worse

At this point I feel very awkward and am curious as to where this is all going. After debating why I can't stand American Idol, she grabs my chin and locks eyes with me.

Girlfriend: Be honest with me......

She puts her hand on my crotch.

Girlfriend: Am I starting to get wrinkles around my eyes?

Me: No.

Girlfriend: You're lying.

Me: No I'm not.

Girlfriend: You just want me to feel better.

Me: No really you're a perfect 10. I was blown away when you came in. You still look great even with what you have on now.

She gives me a look of skepticism and walks up to a full length mirror on the wall.

Was that there before!?!?!

She looks at her ass.

Girlfriend: Here and here. It's all wrong. These sweatpants make me look fat.

Me: Really, you're being too hard on yourself.

Girlfriend:They didn't fit this tight when I first wore these. Do you remember?

Me: We just met so this is the first.....time.

Girlfriend: You BASTARD!

Me: What?

Girlfriend: Uncle Donny died and I had nowhere to go and you let me stay with you. You held me all night long. You were the only one who understood me!! You told me how cute I look and now you don't remember!?!? You insensitive.....

Me: I don't know how your ass used to look like in sweatpants. I don't really care.

Girlfriend: Say what you really want to say!!!

Me: That I don't care?

Girlfriend: NO! That I'm fat and you don't love me anymore!!! FUCKER!!!

Me: Take it easy. I don't remember what I didn't experience!

Girlfriend: If you really cared about me you would know!! You would fucking know everything!!! I made myself beautiful so you could take me and be with me forever and we can have babies and all! And you've just wasted my time. My clock is ticking!!!

Me: What!?!?

Girlfriend: Don't move! Stay right where you are!!!

She heads out the door.

What the hell is going on here?

The TV changes to a blue screen and a woman's voice is heard.

Woman's Voice: Please wait. Remain calm.

I get up to open the door, it's locked. All the doors I find are locked. I hear footsteps coming to the door. It's sounds like quite a few people, but who?

The answers will be told here on this blog, for your reading pleasure, in explicit detail......

But not tonight.

Sweet dreams, dear readers.

Coming up.....

Part III of the Girlfriend Room.