Part V: Giving the Gift of Boob

Previously on U N L O A D E D......

A site giving the gift of Boob to women in need.

Innovative advertisements.

A woman with the gift of boob cut off far too early. What else did she have to say?

Hello!

(Ricardo enters the room with a glass of wine and a smokers jacket, sizing you all up and flashing a devilish grin)

Why, hello there my fellow unloaded ones. Hope you haven't been going tit for tat with anyone too obnoxious in my time away.

(takes a sip of wine and has a seat)

I've had offers of more nude photos and even erotic stories to titillate the naughty writer within me. This community does reward the generous as you know. And while I haven't been a Rockefeller, I have been kind in my own modest way.

Now where were we? Ah yes, the interview with a very special woman who was kind enough to answer my questions on breast augmentation. Where were we....oh, I remember now. Here it is.

I asked if she was worried about complications. Without further ado, let's resume shall we?

And remember, be respectful to our subject.

The Interview

2. Did the risks worry you at all? Or are they really just hyped up by the media to freak people out?

I was definitely concerned about the risks. You hear horror stories about bad boob jobs, because they are true. I have first hand knowledge about tragic events such as "When Boob Jobs Go Wrong" because of where I worked. I saw some fantastic before and after boob jobs and I saw some seriously detrimental before and after boob jobs. I was terrified to end up as one of the girls from surgeries gone awry.

Side Bar: When considering breast implants, it's really all about the doctor. It is of utmost importance to find a good doctor, the right doctor, talk with the other women who have previously been to that doctor, and ask a lot of questions. If the doctor gets annoyed by all of your questions, you are with the Wrong Doctor.

3. Were you treated differently after the boob job?

I treated myself differently afterwards.

4. Were you given grief by friends and family?

Absolutely not. My mother completely supported my decision. She stated that if her breasts had looked like mine (pre-surgical) she would have done the same exact thing. In fact, she is the one that pointed out this was "Corrective" surgery NOT "Elective" surgery.

5. Did the operation hurt and how long before you recovered?

Well, I had TWO surgeries. (Because I am a stubborn asshole.)

The first time I went to have my procedure, the doctor suggested I go from my floppy A cup all the way to a full D cup. I told him there was no way I wanted to be a D cup. I am an insurance professional, not a porn star and I did not want to walk around my office with flotation devices attached to my chest. He explained to me in numerous ways, that I needed to fill up the loose skin, in order to fix the horrendous sagginess that was part of my ugly boob situation. Yet, I remained firm with my decision to only go to a C cup. Begrudgingly, the doctor complied with my wishes.

The surgery went well and I went home the same day with a wonderful device attached to me. This device distributed Novocain in a steady stream via catheter to each breast 24 hours a day for 3 days. I didn't feel an ounce of pain. Not. Even. A. Little.

One week later I went back to the doctor. The catheter was removed and the bandages came off. Much to my surprise my breasts were even prettier than I had ever imagined possible. They were perfectly symmetrical and full. They were not too rounded, or shaped like a disks. I hate that look. You know that look. It's like someone took a grapefruit, cut it in half and super glued them to their body. I was amazed with how 'real' my boobs looked. I was thrilled with the fact they moved with me, rather than sitting frozen solid or rock hard. Even with all of the swelling they were still very soft to the touch.

[When my doctor took the 'AFTER' photo, it was a most liberating moment.]

Alas, a few weeks post-surgery, I had a severe panic attack. I thought my boobs had 'broken' and/or were leaking because they seemed to be deflating. I was seriously scared. And I didn't know what to do. I called the doctor immediately. The decrease in size was simply due to the swelling going down. That's when I realized what the doctor had been trying to warn / tell me on all of my earlier visits.

2 or 3 months after my first surgery, just as my doctor had predicted, I had soccer balls (which beat tennis balls) at the bottom of a tube socks - for boobs. The dreaded saggy-droopy-ness was back. I had two options at that point. 1. Have a Breast Lift- a very painful surgical procedure which leaves hellish scars on your body. (The last thing my body needs is more scarring.) 2. Go to a bigger size implant.

Teary eyed, I returned to my doctor pleading for his help to rectify my own mistake. "Okay, Okay. I see now what you have been trying to tell me. Let's go to a Full D Cup." And that's just what we did. My second surgery went as smoothly as the first one. In fact it was even easier than the first one. The 'pocket' where the implant belongs was already formed, and since I was merely changing the size of the bag the 2nd procedure took only 24 hours 'recovery time' before I was back at my desk.

6. Would you recommend other women to get one if they were thinking about it?

Honestly, that depends on each individual woman, and her specific circumstances. Do I think getting a 'boob job' strictly for vanity purposes is all together healthy? No.

It also depends on the expectations the potential candidate has about the final outcome. Most good doctors will also request a complete psychological evaluation prior to engaging plastic surgery. They need to make sure the candidate is being realistic and not going through these measures for attention seeking behavior purposes.

I will say, without any hesitation, that my choice was the right choice, for me.

$10,000.00 and four years later, I am still 'In Love' with the final result. However, I am over the "Look At My Twins" phase that I went through after my 2nd surgery. I am confident and comfortable in my own skin. I don't need to show 'The Girls' off anymore or search for validation. But it sure is nice to fill out a dress properly.

The Poll

I'd like to thank all of you who took part in my poll in the top right corner concerning this issue. If you haven't, there's still a couple of more days to vote. As of now, it's a dead heat between people who don't like them and people who feel it's a case by case issue. Very interesting.

Catharsis

After investing so much time and energy into this subject I suppose it's time that I try and figure this all out. Or can I? Is it even meant to be figured out? What the hell have I done? For the past several weeks I've been balls deep in virtual boobs. That's a lot mind you.

We all want to look our best, man or woman it doesn't matter. And while each sex has different means of doing it, the principle is still the same. We want to be loved, desired, cherish and maybe even coveted. While we can have a strong sense of self worth we still need interaction, contact and feedback from those around us. We can't sustain a healthy self image in a vacuum. We can't hide from the need to feel wanted. We need each other, like it or not. If working out or getting cosmetic surgery helps us feel better on the inside, or augments the positivity within us, so be it. Those before us will see that energy and respond. It will be magnetic to some and repulsive to others. However if there is a void within us then looking pretty will not completely help the situation. The inside must work with the outside and the outside must work with the inside. Each side can't stand alone. I see that clear as day now.

As for being balls deep in virtual boobs, well, the time has come to put those aside and begin to reach out to the real world again. I mean, let's face it, JPEGs on the hard drive are fun, but flesh is fabulous.

Wouldn't you agree?

Coming up....

They myth of equity.

And...

The proposal. Long trips to far away places, but is that going to win me the right girl?

Also...

Snap the bull whip, grab the fedora, Indiana Jones is back!!! My thoughts on the new adventure coming up!!