"Long-acting beta2-adrenergic agonists, such as salmeterol, one of the active ingredients in
ADVAIR DISKUS, may increase the risk of asthma-related death."
I didn't make that up, that's what's actually in the fine print on a piece of paper that comes in every box of Advair. Your doctor won't tell you about it because he or she has a million samples of these things (called the Advair Diskus due to it's shape) that they have to get rid of. You click a lever back, put it up to your mouth, and breath in a fine powder. This is supposed to make breathing easier for patients with asthma and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease also known as COPD.
I don't know if COPD is a new buzz term for asthma or if the 2 are different conditions with the same symptoms. Whatever the case, this drug (poison) is given for both and, as many of you know, I was pretty sick through the month of December with severe coughing. Sure getting near attractive women and catching soft core porn on HBO late night (couldn't sleep) helped a bit with opening the airways, but I could barely breathe right and it was awful. I called my doctor fearing that I was getting walking pneumonia. As an asthmatic, it's not hard to get once you catch a nasty chest cold, neither is bronchitis.
The doctor listened to me breathe in and out and noticed that there was trouble going on in my lungs. Straight away he put me on a nebulizer which was a clear indication, to me, that I was in worse shape than I thought. He also pumped me full of prednisone tablets which were the size of horse pills. This drug is damn effective in helping you breathe better but you can't stay on it for too long or you'll expand like a balloon. Your face swells, and you put on pounds like no ones business. About the only good news I had from the doctors visit was that he could see that I was working out extensively. He assured me I would not be on this stuff long enough to get physical side effects but I would get an adrenaline rush. Before sending me off with a prescription for more prednisone he also gave me a few samples of Advair to take along with the drug. I would use anything I could to get back to normal because as it was, I wouldn't have made it through a hot date without getting choked out.
Progress?
After the 3rd day on prednisone the euphoria struck. I could breathe! I was powering through my workouts in record time, I felt like I could climb walls. Then as the days went on I became a little cranky but it was no matter because my cycle on the stuff was almost done. Per doctors orders, I was to taper off the prednisone and begin taking Advair in the morning and night. At first it seemed to work well, until I took my last prednisone pill. Once totally on Advair the downhill slide started:
Chest pain.
Shortness of breath.
Heart palpitations.
Super dry mouth.
I could barely make it through my workouts, even if I took my rescue inhaler. In fact, I almost passed out once. Then I recalled that the feelings I was having also felt like a panic attack. I was rushed to the ER back in 2007 because of it. The doctors that night concluded that I had a severe panic attack. I later learned that the disorder runs strong on my fathers side of the family. Since I was never close with them, this was news to me.
I decided to do a little experiment; stop taking the Advair cold turkey and see what happens. Suddenly I was breathing better, easier. But wait, you're not supposed to stop taking this drug (poison) cold turkey. You have to tapper off.
The Test
It had only been a day or 2 since I stopped the Advair and noticed the improvements. Was it in my head? I decided to take the Advair only once a day. This would be my weening off. I first tried it in the morning before work. Within an hour I felt my throat closing, like I was being strangled. I had to get up and head to the bathroom. Actually, I staggered and hid in a stall trying to catch my breath. I took my rescue inhaler but it didn't work well. Damned if I was going out of the office on a gurney. So gradually I caught my breath and was able to continue with work.
Fearing that another episode would happen at my job I took one puff of the poison powder when I got home from work the next day. I used the lowest dosage of Advair possible which has the numbers 100/50. I had another sample that was 250/50. Maybe it was too high? Wrong. I tensed up within moments of taking it and my heart felt like it would explode. I couldn't breathe! I was actually ready to dial 911 but as I paced like a madman around the apartment, things got a little better. What was happening to me could have been 2 things:
- A severe asthma attack which would choke me out and possibly kill me.
- A sever panic attack which could also choke me out to unconsciousness but NOT kill me. The airways open once you loose it.
I rolled the dice, I bet it was the Advair causing a panic attack. I concocted something strong that would calm me down. If not, it would be an asthma attack. Either way, it was worth a shot.
I slammed down the following:
3 Xanax pills (.25 mg) with half a glass of wine chugged fast and hard.
If that didn't calm me down, nothing would. I kept my finger on the send button of my mobile. 911 was already dialed.
15 minutes later....boom! Good as new.
The Aftermath
Feeling like new again, I went in search of not only the side effects listed by the folks (cock suckers) at Glaxo Smith Kline who make Advair, but everyday, real people who took the stuff. The results were all disastrous. Overwhelmingly, people were having symptoms similar to mine or getting sicker!!!
Among the side effects listed by the manufacturer:
- bronchospasm (wheezing, chest tightness, trouble breathing);
- fast or uneven heart beats, restless feeling, tremor;
- fever, chills, cough with yellow or green mucus;
- stabbing chest pain, feeling short of breath;
- white patches or sores inside your mouth or on your lips; or
- worsening asthma symptoms.
- headache, dizziness;
- nausea, vomiting, diarrhea;
- dryness in your mouth, nose, or throat;
- stuffy nose, sinus pain, cough, sore throat; or
- hoarseness or deepened voice
Long-acting beta2-adrenergic agonists, such as salmeterol, one of the active ingredients in ADVAIR DISKUS, may increase the risk of asthma-related death.
Apparently the FDA thinks it's not bad enough to yank this drug off the market and that this warning will do fine until more people die. But how many people read the fine print? This story got some coverage in the media but not enough to sway the opinion of many. It's still widely prescribed. And since the pharmaceutical industry can pretty much buy off the FDA (in my humble opinion) they'll be plenty of this powder around to breathe in. But you're likely better off snorting cocaine or powdered bleach.
Coming up next...... Jewish matchmaking. Let me in or get me out of here?
