Blackberry is Beautiful
It's no iPhone and mine didn't come with Asian film star Bai Ling, but hell...this Blackberry Pearl that I scored is one sweet phone. How sweet? I'm addicted and you can't stop me!!! In fact, it's almost better than sex! I'll explain in a few.
Everyone who has mobile phone service gets the chance to every so often upgrade their phone and my time came about a month and a half ago. My trusty Nokia flip phone was a solid performer if, and only if, I wanted to make calls and snap a few pictures. But as I became more engrossed in my email and internet usage, I began wanting more. For this phone upgrade I was going to get something special, something advanced, something cool.
Enter the Blackberry Pearl
To me Blackberry phones were big clunky devices used by "the suits" at Fortune 500 companies and Fortune 500 wannabes. UNACCEPTABLE! I wanted the iPhone but the steep price scared me away. I love Apple stuff and proudly write on this blog with my iMac. I DON'T DO WINDOWS. But I'm on a budget and scored this little number for $39.99 refurbished. This phone goes for $350 new or $149 with a 2 year service contract and $50 mail in rebate. I hate that!!! No rebates, just give me a cheap price. If the phone doesn't work I could return it to the phone company. I had nothing to lose. Also getting a refurbished phone is, according to my wireless carriers website, eco friendly. I like this.
So I get the thing online, it comes in the mail and it's never been used! The only thing wrong with it is that is has the old companies name on it. Who cares? I fire the thing up and go through the activation process. From here on out my life has never been the same.
The Crackberry
Who on earth would want crack when they can instant message, email, surf the internet and run their whole fucking life with a Blackberry? "I'll just check my email once and awhile with this thing." I said to myself. That lasted a day.
This phone has become surgically implanted into my hand. When not in my hand it's always in my field of vision just in case the little red light starts to flash. That means I got an email or one of you left a comment on the blog. From the aisle of the grocery store or in the midst of waiting for my car to get an oil change I can reply right back to you wonderful people. The gratification is instant. My heart races with giddy anticipation with each flash of the red light.
Who could it be? Meleah, Monique, Ms.Q, Urban Thought, Maritza, Enemy of the Republic, Amber, Marsha, MKD, God, the spirits of the netherworld?
Who?
The pressing of the buttons to open up the email to find that out is pure ecstasy I tell you!!! And so is everything else!
I'm in a long line, I hit the Crackberry and surf the web.
I'm in the waiting room of my doctors office. I hit the Crackberry to instant message.
I'm in bed, too lazy to get up and turn on my computer, I hit the Crackberry and reply to you.
I'm lost while driving and in nasty area. I hit the Crackberry to pull up mapquest and find my way to safety.
I want to discretely view porn. I hit the Crackberry not because I have to but because I can!
Oh baby this convenience feels so good! Ooooh! Don't touch me, let me just lie here for a second. I'll be OK.
If I were Trapped on an Island
If I were stuck on an island, I'd want my Blackberry. I would even figure out a way to generate enough electricity to recharge the battery using my own movements like running or pedaling. No service way out in the middle of nowhere? No problem, I'll make a tower out of the coconut trees. You may ask would I not want the companionship of a beautiful woman? The answer is no! If I can devise a way to attach artificial but very realistic feeling breasts and a pulsating vagina to the phone then I would. There would be no nagging and I could shut it off when I'm done.
I just need food and the Crackberry! Can't you understand? You ignorant non Blackberry users!!!!
Dude, are You Serious?
About what I said about being on an island and companionship stuff?
I suppose not, no.
Nothing beats the right warm body next to, on top of or under you.
I love this little phone and find it indispensable. I really don't know how I got by without it. Don't get me wrong, if it died today, I'd miss it and fall back on my old flip phone. But it's made things so much more convenient and has proven to be not just a business contraption but the ultimate fun machine for keeping your social life afloat and prospering. Who needs to actually talk when we have these things?
Actually we do need to talk and we do need that contact, but until that person is within arms reach, the Blackberry isn't so bad. And you can always use it to reel that person in close with some sweet words.
Technology is grand.
Disclaimer: No I was not paid by the Blackberry makers, Research in Motion, to write this. I just dig the phone and so do the chicks.
Coming up Next on U N L O A D E D......
Live Free Or Die Hard!! Thank you Fox for coming to your senses and releasing an unrated version instead of the lame PG-13 one! Yippie Kay Yay Mother Fuckers!
Also coming up....
Dealing with my elimination from the Slamdance Screenwriters competition, has life lost it's meaning?
26 PEOPLE HAVE UNLOADED:
hahahaha!! So my comment is leaving you a nice flashing red light on your Crackberry? Ooooh I had no idea that I was giving you such instant gratification.
I better not get one of those because I thought that I would not get sucked into the blogosphere and here I am, jumping from blog to blog to say HI or see what my blog buddies are up to. If I had access on a Blackberry? No more life.
I like your bargain hunting exploits. It warms my own looking-for-a-deal heart!
Thanks for a great morning laugh - imagining you running around on a a deserted island rigging up coconuts barefoot and in jeans all to power up your Crackberry...
Funny! You wrote you Don't Do Windows but I guess you DO Gilligan? Well, in this case, it would be The Professor.
Oh, no! You were eliminated from Slamdance? I'd just been wondering where you were with that! Your recent blog revival reminded me (not that I seriously needed reminding) of what a writing talent you have and so I wondered at how your screenwriting was doing.
Well, I hope this comment gave you...satisfaction.
Ms.Q - yes you just drove me crazy just there. I'm weak in the knees from it.
But seriously, I am responding with the blackberry now. It's wonderful.
I will write all about my defeat at slam dance soon enough. An update on that story is long overdue.
The price I got this phone for is robbery. Glad you admire my thrift!.
I need a new cell phone SO badly. I dont even have the ability to TEXT message.
(Um...I really really really dislike Bi-Ling)
Meleah - LOL! I couldn't find a good picture of Hedi Klum with one as she's touted as using the same phone as well. So I had to use the one with Ms. Ling.
She's very good in a film called Dumplings where she uses dead babies to make dumplings that reverses aging in women. that was a film she did overseas. Most of the stuff she's done here has placed her on the annoying list. TMZ seems to hate her.
:)
Yea, it's fun to have sometimes.
Sometimes, no.
I have owned (via my company) 3 different versions in the last 4 or so years working in IT.
I have the 8830 which is a nice phone/pda and what have you.
It's nice when you HAVE to have something, you learn to hate it, therefore not become addicted.
But I do carry it around.
And since everyone I know has my work cell/email, if they need to get hold of me, it's quite easy.
Peace on earth!
Mike
I'm with Meleah about Bi-Ling - I don't much care for her.
Actually, I can't recall seeing her movies but that photo of her you used - she looks like an Asian Twit. It's the Chinese in me - I know twittiness isn't limited to those colorless, starving rehab-hopping starlets but (sigh) I'd like Asian starlets to have higher aspirations.
Then again, you're only young, beautiful, rich and famous once.
Mike v - the blackberry is an absolute essential if you're an IT guy like yourself. I guess if I had to count on it for work I would start hating the thing because it's not fun anymore. But even so you see how handy the thing is. It's not as pretty as the iPhone but it's damn effective. I really wish the emails weren't so bare bones in however. It does not display graphics in your messages. I believe it's called rich html or something like that. I guess it keeps things simple and easier to read.
Ms.Q - also a bai ling hater. If you see her Chinese films she is really very good. i have seen 2 and was impressed. She also spoke out against human rights violations there before defecting here. I think there is a cell waiting for her when she returns. Then again maybe not. Her work here has not been as good as her work in China or overseas. Here she's more known for falling out of her dresses and making a spectacle of herself on shows like "but can they sing." it's a shame the American audience has not been exposed to her more serious work. Here we just have her spread in playboy and her confessions that she is bi sexual.
Bai Ling has also has great nipples.
(clears throat)
LOL!!!! I'm envious.
I'm gonna take a picture of my phone and display it on my blog. I warn you now it's sad looking. :)
{{grrrrr}}} I can't make this thing work. The post from Rachel is me "marsha". Rachel was logged onto blogger. Sorry about that
Ricardo I'm happy that you're happy with your new toy.
but I already spend way too many hours blogging, I don't need any extra technology that allows me to do it even more.
as for using it to while away time spent waiting in a queue.... I take a book with me everywhere I go. it's amazing how much quality reading time you can chalk up while queueing.... :-)
Rachel/Marsha - If I had multiple people in my household on blogger I'd be doing that all the time. There's a few other people who have done that here. The phone is fantastic. A whole new world has opened to me. As for your phone, this I have to see. I'm sure it's great. Are you with AT&T? I can send you my old Nokia Flip phone if you like.
Nurse Myra - It would not be my first choice but you can blog from this thing. Your site, may I add, also adapts for mobile phone usage very well. I've read your blog and commented quite a few times with it. My blog does not render well on it. A book would be far more engrossing and enlightening, I should have thought of that...but it's too late far me now I'm afraid. Save yourself nurse myra and continue to read while your stuck in the queue. Avoid this little beast or else become like me; a blackberry slave.
You respond to comments on your blackberry too? I thought I was the only one. Good thing I'm not. I told someone I did and they were like are you crazy?
The pearl is a great looking phone but I'm hesitant about upgrading because I like the track wheel. Without it I couldn't play brickbreaker.
I've never heard of Bi-Ling before. Dumplings sounds interesting. I have to find out if its on DVD.
Urban, brick breaker plays just fine on the pearl. It's perloaded onto the device. The white ball (the pearl) is like a track ball controler which may not work as well as the wheel for the game but makes navigating around the phone great.
I don't think it's crazy at all to respond to comments on your blog with this thing. Might as well put it to good use and greet your readers in a timely manner.
I'm responding to you now on it via opera mini.
Back to Bi Ling - I had heard from a film buff that she's a great actress. It IS too bad if she's put into stupid role in the states.
She was in Playboy? I dunno, interesting career move. But I've heard it's worked for some.
Nipples, huh? Now you got me wondering what makes hers so great.
hmm... what just happned to my comment?
anyway... I am with TMZ on Bia-Ling.
Hedi (on the other hand) is one of my favorite women of all times.
MsQ - I really don't know what happened with her and why she has either stayed away or has not been offered a juicy role. Yes she was in playboy and I've seen the pictured. Her nipples are thimble like and always seem to find a way out out of her cloths. She's notorious for what they call the "nip slip."It's as if they have a mind of their own.
Meleah - Not sure what happened with your comment. Did it disappear? The comments stuff has been very strange on blogger as of late. Don't like any of it.
Hedi uses the same phone I have but there just aren't any good shots of her with it. It's a tragedy.
My cousin has a "crack"berry and while we were in downtown Chicago on Saturday she had that damn thing out about every 3 minutes checking to see if she had any messages or texts.
P R E T T Y!
D A M N!
A N N O Y I N G!
for those of us less tech savy folks.
But it was pretty cool that she whipped up an email that had a discount code in it that we were able to use while shopping.
What I really care about is this: does it have the capability to send those lovely images that you send me from the bar???
That’s first thing.
Second: if it’s better than sex, than I better get my phone QUICK! (ha) Been using this ol’ rotary phone anyway… ;)
MKD - Yes my friends, including their kids, have pointed out how annoying I am with the phone. And yes there are sites that you can use on your blackberry that bring up discount codes locally and you can use them right then and there. I can shop on it too! Amazon and a bunch of places have sites made to work very well on a mobile phone!! I can also punch up a city guide which will list all the things going on in the area and local restaurants with ratings and categories. I highlights an Italian or Chinese restaurant I like, click the magic pearl and POOF it dials the number to the place so I can make reservations or discover what their special of the day is. Oh it's wonderful!!!
Deb - Yes I did, indeed, use my blackberry to snap pictures of hot women so I could send them along to you. The process takes very little time and I have a 2 Gigabyte media card on the thing so I can take TONS of pictures. I still on the fence about the sex thing but it's way better than a rotary phone.
I'd better not get one, I would be a complete mess, totally nonfunctional, zoned out, paying no attention to my kids.
I hear a lot of criticisms of technology and how it is making people less sociable and I don't get it. I am able to socialize like I have never been able to before. You can find people you have things in common with, you have the time because you don't actually have to go see them, oh well....you know. Long live technology!
BBE - I think this little contraption is the best thing since sliced bread! Technology has also allowed me to connect with all sorts of people that I would have never met before. How can we say this is bad or destroying us? The definition of what relationships are needs to be expanded upon. Yes, meeting people in person should always be the first and most important thing to do but when you can do that kind of interaction, these tools become helpful. It's a matter of how you use.
As for what effects the phone has on you, yes I have zoned out plenty with this thing. LOL!! You may indeed forget about your kids.
Blackberries are are quite common where I work but I dont think that I'll be joining the crowd. I do carry a cell phone but that thing usually only gets turned on when I want to make a call. I also rarely text. My standard text reply is "ok" or "no". The whole texting process seems so tedious. LoL
Clay the texting process is indeed very tedious especially if you have the standard numerical keypad! Typing simple words like "no" can be painful. But blackberries have a full fledged keyboard or in the case of min a semi QWERTY keyboard where 2 letters are on 1 key and it uses auto typing to finish your words. I have had good luck with it but sometimes it gets dumb and mistypes everything. Either way it is much faster than average texting. It's pure magic clay.
I still don't like those things. But if my job buys me one, I promise to change!
Hmmm....I guess the full keyboard does make this blackberry a bit more appealing but there again......you are talking to a guy who still spins more vinyl than cd. LoL
Enemy - I hated these things as well until I realized that I was constantly wondering if I was getting an important email or asking what the score on the Mets game was or printing out mapquest directions and carrying around paper that wound up littering the back seat of my car. These and many other things ended instantly once I got this thing. But if you can get your job to foot the bill, TAKE IT. If not you can still make do with your normal phone just fine.
Clay - I heard studies that proved vinyl records still produce superior sound over CDs. If that's the case, stick with the turn tables and score some high end speakers. The full keyboard goes a long way with this thing. I never knew my thumbs could move so fast, but I have the PS2 controller to thank for that ;-)
Post a Comment