Buy that Car, Ring that Bell
Before I get on with my scheduled blog entries about office cubical lizards, Blackberry addiction and the agony of defeat, I want to share with you all a little adventure I had today involving one of the most reviled places on earth; the car dealership.
YES, the car dealership! The place where dreams are purported to be made but swindles are the real order of the day. The place where that new car smell titillates the senses and intoxicates the psyche. The shiny new paint, the sparkling chrome, the promise of a great deal due to strange terminology like "low factory to dealer incentives" unleash the most magnetic of pulls. You want the car, it's within reach, it has to be within reach because their goal is to put you in that spanking new car TODAY! There's always a way thanks to financing! Those trusty sales folk will make the numbers work for you.....because they care.
(coughing)
The Other American Dream
In America, we love our cars. This is one of the few countries where a family will feel completely justified in buying a Hummer because they need room for the kids when they go to soccer practice. Everything must be big, loud and obnoxious and that includes our personalities. And then we wonder why we're treated rudely when we are visiting another country. You can issue a foreclosure on our houses (the primary American dream) and you can take away our spouses or significant others....but God fucking damn it, we're taking our mother fucking, gas guzzling cars!!!!!
So many of use rely on them but so many of us graft them into our lives to the point that it's something much more. It's like another member of the family, an old friend or a trusted companion. We need our cars. I need my car. And today I thought I might have needed a new one.
WHY?
Ladies and gentleman I'll be completely honest with you, I bought my car in 2002 with a feeling that great prosperity was just around the corner. I had worked myself up from absolutely nothing and landed a job at ESPN. I went from being in a very dangerous area to having a nice little place to call my own in a low crime area. Nothing was going to stop me baby!!
But life did.
ESPN was a den of sociopaths and sadists. Conditions in my job changed which resulted in a loss of income because there was no overtime available. The car I bought was needed but I didn't have the means to plunk down 5 grand up front. I got a loan with a balloon payment which means a lump sum is due at the end of the loan. "No problem" said the sales guy, you can refinance that lump sum or trade it in for a new car at our dealership. The price was right, the conditions seemed right, I dove in.
The dealership closed!
I lost my job at ESPN because I was no longer the "right fit." This really means that I was not fanatical enough for their liking. If not having fantasies of ESPN in my spare time is a crime, I'm guilty. My fantasies revolve around fun things like sex which is where many fantasy ought to lie. Sorry but I'm not going to rub one out over a spreadsheet I looked the day before. Too freaky for me.
I had to file for bankruptcy!!! Made it just before the laws changed.
I was out of work for 8 months!!! Why? Because the freaks at ESPN blacklisted me!!! I finally had to bring in the State Attorney General's office to get the job that I currently have. ESPN doesn't fuck with me now.
I almost everything I had, AGAIN! But God damn it, through it all, I kept my fucking car!
But was it a time for a change before the lump sum of money due made that change for me with a repossession?
I went to the dealer to find out.
Come on Down
I saw the sign at one Toyota dealership saying that bad credit was not an issue. OK, I made the call and asked what the catch was on my mobile.
The salesman on the other line quipped, "I love they way you say that...like we're going to do something to you."
But you are because that's the nature of your job. I know this. I'd respect you more, Mr.Salesman, if you told me exactly what it was.
"Why don't you come down and I can put you in a car today. It shouldn't be a problem if the numbers are agreeable."
What have I got to lose? A few hours of my day!!!
My goal, Get them to take my car and take the difference of the lump sum due and put it on the new loan. It wouldn't be enough to raise the monthly payment that much over 5 or 6 years. Should be OK.
NO! It wasn't!
Ladies and gentleman, I am about to tell you a story of ups, downs, deception and negotiations so brutal that some of us began to sweat. But who and why? And what does ringing a bell have to do with any of this!?!
The answers will be revealed here, on this blog, for your reading pleasure, in full detail for you to ponder and consume.
But not tonight.
Tonight I must rest and put the nightmare behind me with a glass (entire bottle) of wine and song. I would include women in that equation but there don't seem to be any around.
I must collect my thoughts. Till next time..........
Coming up on U N L O A D E D........
Fake bosses. We'll take a look at the cubicle dwelling subspecies.
And later.....
Behold the Blackberry or is it the Crackberry? My addiction revealed!
Also to come.....
Dealing with defeat. I hate to lose damn it!
18 PEOPLE HAVE UNLOADED:
You have really made me stoked my curiosity. Waiting for the next installment...
The car dealership...I hate them. The dentist is more enjoyable.
I drove my last vehicle for ten years because of dread of having to return to that evil place. My new car..I call it knew, was purchased in 2005. With any luck, I won't have to buy another car for years and years.
I'm dying to read the rest!
I hate car dealerships. They don't like me either, because I can't stop from laughing when the guy says shit like, "Let me talk to the manager." LOL
I am not much up on car dealers, either! I bought a new car way back in 1999 and I did my research on edmunds.com and got pricing info and all that. Figured out what I was willing to pay and got a pre-approved loan which the dealer ended up beating. You gotta gird those loins though.
My experience wasn't bad. I wasn't going through a great time in my life and I could care less if I bought the car then or later. I needed a car but had already ran out of excuses on why I didn't need one RIGHT NOW. When you're ready to walk away, that's when the dealer has to deal. I could have probably expended more effort to have gotten a better deal but nguh, it was a good deal. No 2nd-guessing!
That SUCKS about you and ESPN. Good going for fighting for you job back, especially if they weren't being fair.
I admit I wouldn't have fought or I don't think I would have. Especially if returning would have meant I was back in one the circles of hell.
I think it's amazing how resilient you are with respect to the troubles you've experienced in your life. I can see why you pondered going to Florida! What's up with that or is that in further installments??
I cant deal with Car Dealerships. Not even A Little.
Amber - Stick around it gets much better.
Marsha - I hope I can get 10 years out of the car. Everyone says I can if I keep up on the oil changes and routine stuff. The smaller Japanese cars like my Mitsubishi as well as the Toyota Corolla and Honda Civic are said to be little tanks. Outlasting their bigger more glamourous counterparts. Why this is baffles me but everyone swears it's true.
Maritza - Og this story is a gem. I have to share it. Glad you dig it.
Monique- The whole talking to the manager thing annoys the living daylights out of me.
MsQ-I technically don't need a new car as this Mitsubishi of mine is running like a top. It's the large sum of cash owned now that hurts. I don't have the patience to do this dealing either.
I could write a book about the fuckers at ESPN. They actually told me that I better have plans in place if I were to be let go because it would be "very rough for me." It wasn't until they decided to go after me and attempt to lock me out of the entire local TV industry. I was stalked. They were total and utter creeps.
Resilient? I don't know how much longer I can keep dodging these near brushes with oblivion. losing a car would destroy me. There's no public transportation you can rely on here. I'm sick of the boom and bust. Id like some stability.
Meleah - Why hello there. Good to see you and hope the aches and pains are gone. Car dealerships blow. Hate them.
last time i bought a car from the dealership was back in 1999...i ended up with a good deal since it was in mid-december in sw michigan (where i lived for 3 years in a previous life) and there were absolutely no customers due to giant portions of snow all around...suffice to say they were extremely motivated.
John b - Sometimes hitting these guys at the proper time is all you need. The last time I got my current car there was nobody around either. It worked to my advantage but now I in a tight situation.
LoL, Car places can be a real pain. Thats why I have dealt with the same car salesman on nearly every vehicle I have ever owned. When he worked at Nissan I bought a few 300's and a Maxima....when he went to Toyota, I bought a 4-Runner and eventually a Camry. I really need a car now but he works for a ford dealership and I'm waiting for him to change jobs to an Import store so I can buy another car. LoL
Clay even in these times of desperation I can't bring myself to settle on an American car. I mean, have you seen those things!?!?! Keep the car you have now and hold out for as long as you can. Ihave a Mitsubishi and I bet even the worst car they have made is better than a Pontiac. LOL!
I love reading the comments for your posts Ricardo. Marsha's comment made me smile. The dentist is more enjoyable???? Oh no-o-o... the car dealership is more enjoyable for me, lol.
It was interesting Ric,
Thanx
Yep, Thats the plan Ricardo. I'll drive this Camry until the wheels fall off to avoid buying a domestic. I know that sounds terrible but I've done the math over and over with the same result...... The import wins everytime in my case.
Nellioness - There is never a dull moment here. I prefer the dentist myself but that's not saying much.
Clay - The Camry will go 200k plus miles provided you keep up on the oil changes and routine stuff. The only way you'll do that with a Ford car (not a truck, those seem to last) is with a new transmission and engine replacement. I never hear of anyone taking an American car past the 150k mark without having to replace something major. So sad. And did you notice that Toyotas seem more American than fords?
Welcome back.....go get em' nephew!
L.
Thanks. Would it kill you to put L in the name field as opposed to doing the anonymous thing? LOL!!! I almost deleted you.
I am sooooooooooooooo attached to my car. I L*O*V*E my car!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, so it was used when I bought it, a kajillion and a half million miles on it and is as dirty inside & out as they come, but yep, definitely a member of the family!
Funny on asking about the catch & sad that they had to keep pretending otherwise.
You've been through the ringer Ricardo...hoping some stability is on it's way to you even now. :-)
Jill I too can have that kind of attachment with this car I think. If I can only keep the damn thing!
There's always a catch. They aren't doing this out of the kindness of their heart.
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