This is it ladies and gents, the final battle. It all started with a mysterious email from a woman named Olenka who appeared to be seeking love but wanted my credit card info and from there I was pulled into the world of mail order brides. A cheesy enterprise, yes, but one that still pulls in millions from wealthy men around the world. And what type of wealthy man would pursue this?
I went trying to find that out. At first glance I can see how it would be tempting to many men but the time and money needed to follow this plan through is vast. Never the less, some will do it and with gusto!
Have a look at this. Trust me, it's worth the watch. And if you don't watch it, the rest of the post isn't going to make much sense!
Wow! Tell me ladies, which one stole your heart? I don't think these men are all inherently bad. In fact, there is one frustrated man that I can, in some ways, relate to but still would not go this far much less marry her. Tour groups like this go out to these countries all the time to meet at socials in hopes that they can connect with the woman of their dreams. Such a tour goes for a few grand a pop. Most of the time it does not include airfare but you get a hotel room and guide and sometimes one on one meetings with prospective ladies with the aid of a translator. You can go out for lunch or a stroll around town.
Ah, The Romance
I think while many of these men might like the idea of "ownership" over someone, others seem like they probably had their hearts stomped on one too many times and decided to take matters into their own hands. I mean, just look at the last guy in the video. I can see women eating him alive in all the wrong ways. For these types of men, such services insulate them in a way. For one, it gives more opportunity in their minds to find "the sure thing" which is out the window if you are at a local bar or something. It's a controlled environment where rejections sting doesn't hurt as much because the men are seemingly at a greater advantage. They don't have to pursue as much because it is the women that are desperately trying to escape their homeland. The men can just pick and choose, or so they think. I say think because the woman never have to reveal their true intentions either. They can just play along and reduce the man to putty in her hands. Did we see this in any of the video readers? I bet you did! And once the guy does get her home you could always wind up with this.
She wants to have a WHAT at the 1 minute mark in the video? Is Masha a performance artist, satirist, or a bona fide bride from Russia living in the UK?!?!? Perhaps we'll never know but there are other Masha's out there, planning, scheming, dreaming.
I Don't Need No Stinkin' Russian Mail Order Bride!
I had a chance to talk to the Russian woman at my synagogue again this week where I broached the topic once more. Remember, she suspected them of being KGB agents.
ME: I got an email from a Russian mail order bride named Olenka.
Her: No! No! No! No! No mail order bride for Ricardo. No good. You must not!
Me: I think they're a bit crazy to do this.
Her: They crazy and alcoholics! They lazy and no work! No! No! No! I have niece from Russia studying in Israel now. She go back to Russia soon. Perhaps I make match for her with you.
What have I done?
The Lonely Hearts Club
The reasons for both men and women taking the plunge into these ventures are about as varied as you can get. Sure there are the prostitute and pimp types but there are also those that are so lonely they will resort to anything to stop the hurt. We all want someone to cure us of our emptiness, "complete" us as the ridiculous line in Jerry McGuire went, and feel desired in ways that you can't get from family or owning a pet. This is a natural human need if used in the right context but we tend to distort it. I, for one, never believed that I needed to fall in love to be "complete" because no one "completes me" but me. I think that's goes for everyone else also.
We are bombarded with love songs and images that don't really profess love but codependency. We look for magic when we should be looking for common ground. We seek to bridge the gap between fantasy and reality and sometimes it works, other times it does not. One thing is for certain, as long as these human needs exist, there will always be Russian mail order brides.
I think I might have found mine if I were serious about it. A little bit girl next door, a little bit Black Widow and every bible thumping redneck's worst nightmare. LOL!!!
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So much to say about this! First of all, why do these men have to go so far across the globe to find a woman? Between dating services, on-line dating, church/temple, volunteer groups, the gym, blind dates etc etc it seems like it shouldn't be too hard to find someone if you're really really looking. (That's the key, you got to be REALLY serious about finding someone)
Is it easier to meet woman in a foreign country if you're a man who's strongest asset is his US citizenship and the chance to get out of poverty? Totally. These woman are willing to overlook many flaws in desperation to get out of a very poor country. And, if you don't really speak English, you don't pick up on the nuances that tells you that some of these guys are a bit creepy especially the older guys.
Now for the other hand...My mother married my father after only a week of knowing him. He wanted a simple woman to start a family with and she wanted a ticket out of poverty. It worked for them and 50 something years later, they're still together.
The Masha thing is too weird. I think it's a performance art gone bad.
Those women will tear those old guys apart. You know they will. These guys are not creepy to me but a bit geeky for sure. Sure these guys could clean me out financially, but I could beat them up rather easily if we ever got into a fight ;-) But seriously, my guess is that some of these guys have tried all of the things you mentioned but got blown away by women that either saw through them or couldn't see the real them. Whatever that may be. These women know what they are doing. They aren't stupid nor are they as vulnerable as we may think.
They also don't seem to be living in total squalor. Many of these countries are going through some rough spots economically. However I'm reading that the Ukrainian economy is expanding and growing at a pretty nice clip. But there are some problems since the economy also seriously eroded for several years in the 90's. They also have a very educated workforce which can also help them find work in other countries before resorting to this bride stuff. My guess is that if the economy continues to grow we may see a decline in Ukrainian brides after some years but there's a ways to go. They have to recover from the prior economic meltdown.
Sounds like your mother and father took speed dating to a whole new level.
I worry about that Masha.
ummm, I don't know what to say...lets skip over the mail order bride thing and talk about Battlestar Galactica. I haven't seen it yet. But it's Tivo'd and I plan to watch it tomorrow morning...as soon as the youngest two children are off to school. I will let you know what I think.
Marsha - LOL! What can one say to the spectacle I've created here. I was bored and look at where it took me? No worries I'm not getting a mail order bride.
I'd love to know your thoughts when you do have a chance. I must say I'm a bit shaken by these developments. You may be too. Great episode in my opinion.
Wow, you really nailed it on this one Ricardo- people are looking for fantasies when what they really need is a decent reality.
I really feel sorry for the guys that do this. I've heard so many stories of divorces the minute the chick got her green card to EVER believe than any of them would actually like me, not just my citizenship.
Listen to the old women at Shul Ricardo! And go for that one in Israel!
Thanks A - But the old lady at shul could be setting me up for a fall as well. Also we have no idea how this young woman looks like or what type of personality she may be packing. I mean, what if she's like our pink haired friend Masha?
I'm afraid it's far too dangerous in my opinion.
I actually believe the really old men know what they are doing, they have nothing to loose and are defiantly predators of a kind, don’t mistake age for them being compassionate or weak. The others seem to be split between men who don't want an equal partner they want a “slave” and the socially inept. I do feel kind of sorry for the socially inept guys, but at the same time even they should be able to see that if something seems too good to be true it generally is.
There’s nothing wrong with forming relationships with people from other nations, cultures and races I think it’s a great thing, but it has to be something that happens naturally. If you "buy" a wife you get a “product” not a partner. While money (or in this case a foreign visa) may buy you company the old adage is true, it can't buy you love. Each to their own but I'd rather spend time alone until I meet someone who chooses to be with me than live with the feeling they HAVE to be there.
Great series of post Ricardo, made for a fun read
Ricardo: Don't get married. Life isn't about chains. I don't care how good she looks on her profile. Wisdom has spoken.
leigh - I'm glad you have weighed in on this as I always enjoy getting your take on these posts.
The old men may indeed be in a "nothing to lose" state their better days are behind them and they may feel privy to a sense of entitlement. The younger, wealthier men do seem to be a combination of socially inept and men wanting own. Strangely I think the 2 play into each others hands a socially inept person with wealth and power would see a relationship as something businesslike and the chance to own instead of partnering.
It's always been a personal policy of mine in regards to dating: I welcome beautiful women of all races, creeds and colors. I will only discriminate if the chemistry is not there and for nothing more. It is totally a great thing for races and cultures of all nations to get together and fall in love or hook up. Whatever they want really. But it MUST indeed happen naturally. Love us for us and not the visa. I too would rather be alone than put up with this. You just can't buy some things.
Enemy - I believe in deep profound moments between people but I never thought trying to perpetuate it through marriage is for everyone , especially me. While I'll always be a caring and respectful person, the institution does NOT appeal to me so I will not get married no matter how hot she is. I go on to many whims to sustain a long lasting one and chains would kill me.
An interesting foray into a world I know very little about. So many times there's manipulation on both or either side and I cannot think that would lead to a happy life. Sometimes, though, I think it can work out with each side getting what they want. The women get the stability and security of a man to provide and the men have company and a woman to fill a traditional role and many find Western women won't fulfil this.
True fi, I actually do think some are really looking for a certain type of security with the man looking for a wife to have in a more "traditional" role without any malice.
I actually did read on some stories in which the match making has worked very well and some of these couples are still married.
Looking for a traditional marriage in the most untraditional of ways may be the ticket for some.
But I'll take the untraditional western, eastern, northern or southern woman always. Whithin reason of course ;-)
on the dating site that i posted on it says that they get over a million hits per day and that they have hundreds of success stories to boast about.
not very good odds.
the tragedy of all of this is that these people are trying to solve one problem by creating another.
the people that win this game are the organisers of the trips and the brokers who arrange the marriages.
i don`t think i ever honestly expercted to meet anyone on the dating site.
i was convinced to do it by a friend and have had some interesting moments as a result.
The dating sites are a joke. I hear of people connecting but it's usually the fiend of a friend. I hate them also. I have no clue what to say about myself and I fear that most of the women on them are fake and put up there by the webmaster.
The brokers of the mail order bride services are truly making out well. I don't think any of these people are going home to a hole in the wall apartment. You have to give them credit for pulling something like this off. It's a huge undertaking.
Whoooohooo me like girl with gun!!!
maybe I should go to Ho-dessa too ?
Yeah there's just something about her that lights the fire for me too. Long live the USSR!
Man, I was totally going to drop out of college and be a Russian mail order bride but I don't know if I can handle the guns.
Nakolong welcome, yeah a russian mail order bride is no slouch when it comes to firearms as we can see. But maybe they'll make an exception if your heart is set on becoming one.
Holy smokes, that chicka with the gun was a strange mixture of hot hot hot and SCARY!
So, do they do greek mail order brides? Maybe I can sell myself off to a nice man who will pay for my medical school...
Irisi - you never know, maybe they do. Could be your ticket to success because med school is EXPENSIVE!
And yes that last chick was such an odd mixture that I would have to bring her over and marry her for at least 2 weeks and break it off gently before she shoots me.
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