Ricardo vs The Russian Mail Order Bride (Part I)
Surf the internet enough and you're bound to come across one of the most unusual match making schemes that thrives online; Russian mail order brides. Can I really have my own Maria Sharapova, Anna Kournikova or Mila Jovovich clone sent to me from a far away land provided that we hit it off via email correspondence? Probably not, maybe yes. But only a very slight yes. Like a million to one or was I being too pessimistic? I decided to try my hand when this little email that came my way.
Privet, gentlemanAh yes, Olenka. Beautiful, smart...lonely. How could this be? Being a man of lustful virtue I decided to hop on over to the url she provided but in a matter of hours the website was gone, but was our dear Olenka also? I fired back an email.
After the long searches I have found you and I am very glad. I miss
something big in my life, I am lonely in this huge world and the
loneliness is killing me. I want to find a husband. And I decided to
write to you.
I am an ordinary girl. I am pretty, smart and sensitive. I like
people, new places and nature. I am very romantic and believe in good.
I am religious and I pray every day.
If you are interested to know me better,
please see me here http://theloveisonline.com/darling
Looking forward to hear from you soon
Olenka
Olenka, I am most intrigued. But since you are emailing me from a company based in the US, I'm a bit perplexed. Is this really you? Forgive me for being presumptuous, but with a name like Olenka, I reckon you're somewhere out in Russia, yes?
Olenka is most likely a phishing scam. But if not, will she respond? Does true love await our intrepid blogger? Or am I in grave danger?
Forbidden Fruit
I had an opportunity to talk to a woman who was from Russia at my synagogue. A robust, rugged, friendly, middle aged woman, she fit the old school definition of how we used to view the women of the Iron Curtain. But times have changed and hostility has turned into friendships between our 2 nations. I've always been fascinated by the Russian culture. I never felt that they were the true enemy to begin with. It was a PR battle with each side flexing it's military muscle. It was foolish and a waste of time and energy on the part of both sides. There was so much I wanted to ask her about St. Petersburg, Moscow and the current state of it's citizenry since communism had fallen some years ago. Then I dropped the bombshell:
Me: What's up with the Russian mail order brides?
Her: Oh, mail order bride, yes, I know many. No good Ricardo. No Good. Stay away from them.
Me: But why are so many women ready to drop everything and come over here for a guy they don't even know? I mean, some of the pictures I've seen...they're pretty hot.
Her: Yes Ricardo, they tall, young and beautiful. It is plan, you see.
Me: Plan!?!
Her: Many are KGB. Government hire pretty young girls to get in here and spy for Russia. If not KGB, then military.Me: WHAT!?!? But isn't the KGB gone? Didn't they get rid of that stuff long ago?
Her: New name, new flag, new anthem but still same old Russia. You might find nice Russian girl for you one day, but never mail order bride Ricardo. If not KGB then they will seduce you to take money for Russian mob. I know these kind. Be very careful Ricardo.
Me: Fuck yeah. (grabbing a little cup of wine and raising it) L'Chaim!
While I have yet to find a Russian girl, I did have quite a time with a bombshell from the former Yugoslavia a few years ago, we'll call her Anna. We did things, unspeakable things, in the most public of places together. It remained our secret as those around us never suspected a thing and it will remain such, as a gentleman never tells. Anna, you were wonderful. Perhaps our paths will cross once more.
From Russia with Love?Whilst I await for Olenka to get back to me, I took a gander at many of the Russian dating sites that will act as a facilitator between you and the Russian babe of your dreams. It was in looking at these that I realized many of the women are actually Ukrainian. While some of you may shrug and think it's the same thing, it's not really. They were linked together back in the days of the U.S.S.R but now they are independent countries who always had different cultures. I'm not sure why they are called Russian mail order brides then.
These sites allow you to sign up for 19.95 a month where you can view videos of your wife to be, send emails to them OR talk to them on the phone with the aid of a translator (for a fat fee) to get the ball rolling. Some offer a pay as you go plan which lets you email any woman you want for 5 bucks a pop. And I thought match.com was a rip off.
Anyway, I'm sure you'd like to see some of these videos to get a feel for what these women are like. I'm also sure you don't want to go through the hassle of registering on these sites. Neither do I, and thanks to youtube, we don't have to! Let's have a look.
Attractive, sincere, friendly. Or is she?
Here's another.
Pretty hot as well. I can't see how either of these women are single.
Coming up later, what kind of Russian bride would one of these sites match up with me? Tune in later as I go stat for stat against a beautiful Russian mail order bride.
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I do believe many of these mail order girls are prostitutes. The idea of getting La Femme Nikita is a nice fantasy but I think your friend is way off with her info. They're not KGB spies, they're hookers. Poor things. It's very sad how poor that part of the world is.
Yeah but M, that's a long way to go to turn a trick. I do think they could be gold diggers however. The woman may have been a bit paranoid in her assessment regarding the KGB stuff. But she knows some women who came over from Russia this way and left the guy flat once she got here. but yes this is fantasy and I can't see making a real connection unless I actually was working there and met someone the old fashioned way. Very pretty girls wouldn't you say?
If you can have a mail order bride, then I should get a mail order husband. Oops! Pologamy!
I joined your community--I think. I just invited half the world as well. Tell Leon I want to invite him. BehindBlueEyes--it's in the email. I need to get to know your other blogmates.
You should start a mail order husband business. Thanks for joining. I'll let Leon know and Behind blue eyes too. I want to get a super-fly community going on my blog log too.
Mila Jovovich is Serbian.
There's a difference.
Glad to see you back writing, btw.
What's up Jamille. Good to see you.
So she's Serbian huh? Definately a difference. I must have been thinking of that episode of Married With Children where she played the Russian exchange student.
Here's a good one. As I check wikipedia it also says she was born in the Ukraine. Again, not Russian but according to the logic of these sites, she would be a Russian mail order bride. If she wasn't famous and on hard times, of course.
Feels good to be back but I can't believe I got myself into this topic.
Ricardo- I absolutely think that you should do this, and do it in a big way. Anyone from another country desperate and willing to do ANYTHING to get out will most certainly be sincere.
You should not only join as many of these sites as possible, but you should forward your credit card #s, bank account #s and social security number to as many of them as possible.
The sincere ones will use that money to come and visit you and soon you will have your very own harem of slavic sluts.
Nosdrovya!
That's an excellent idea A. Giving over my information is a way building a bridge to a better life for these women. And who doesn't want to be a doormat?
The women at my office that are Russian and Ukrainian are very pretty and incredibly intelligent. We call them "Fashion Kitties" because they always wear fur, leather, bling, the works! They're very well paid in my company as programmers/computer software people. The ones in the photo are very pretty too.
M - What are you waiting for? Set me up!
Was reading your post, but halfway got mesmerized by the hot women. I don't believe in the whole mail order bride thing. That's for desperate losers when can't get girls in their own land. If the girl was truly like a Mila or and Anna, she won't need some anonymous man. Pass by my blog, will ya?
where to start.
run..........don`t look back.
that should cover it for now.
history lesson;
the ukraine is where the bear went to hibernate.
Leon - Are these mean really what we presume or is it something else? I'll attempt to explore that later.
Dr. A - that is rather cryptic but I think I know what you mean but I am a moth to the flame.
a moth to a flame.
no shit.
did you think you were any different than the rest of us males.
cryptic?
the russian woman is a mercenary looking for the highest bidder.
like m said.
prostitutes.
at least they spell it out up front though, so if you have the money you can enjoy the ride.......
having said that, there are plenty here already and they aren`t that difficult to find.
how`s the british girl?
Dr.A - I'm no different than any other guy, that's for sure. LOL
In terms of being a prostitute, I see elements of it here but how are we defining such a word? There are so many women here and beyond that are not mail order brides that operate in the same manner. When the desire for children and a home come into play, does it not become something greater and more perilous? A prostitute is in and out of your life for a very brief time should you use one. This stuff seems to involve a long term commitment, family and so on. This sounds pretty scary to me.
The British girl? LOL! Yes, she's someone I flirt with. But I have no clue how she looks like since our interaction is strictly over the phone. Again dangerous, but I like making her laugh and she seems to enjoy my antagonising.
But if there is a market for me over in the UK, I'll be happy to become a mail order groom. The British are my second biggest audience here after my US readers. Also, another British friend who reads this blog felt I would do well over there.
I'm awful, aren't I?
you are typing like a brit too...
You know what Dr. A? I have my language kit software switched to British and I didn't even know it. I was going to do a write up for another site I blog for which is British but never got around to doing it and forgot to jump back to American. I have to be more on top of that. I hope my post didn't show up like that.
Oh, bloody hell!!!
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