The Sharpness of a Tipsy Woman

She is a very close friend but not my dear friend of many years. That will come in time. For he sake of this story, she shall remain nameless although I'd never forget her from here on out.

We were leaving a house party and I offered her a ride home. She had a bit to drink and letting her go home alone wouldn't have been safe.

Me: Guys, I got her. I'll take her home.

Tipsy Woman: Are you sure Ricardo? Your car is close?

Me: Yeah, come on. Let's get you home.

We walk through a parking lot to my car, she begins to rummage through her purse.

Tipsy Woman: Can't be too careful. Someone may try to mess with us out here. I have to find my....ahhh.

She pulls out a small but very sharp push dagger from her purse much like this one. She holds it a few inches from her face and looks it over like it's her new wedding ring.

Me: Good thing you brought it along. Left mine at home.

Tipsy Woman: If someone tries anything I have no problem stabbing them. And if anyone attacked you, I'd do that for you too.

She looks at me, smiles and puts the knife away with a sense of maternal assurance. The juxtaposition of this tall, beautiful, delicate looking woman holding her knife in the moonlight sent all of my creative synapses firing. It was alarming, sexy, cinematic, titillating, mysterious and right out of the femme fatale playbook. But this was a real woman standing before me and this was not the movies.

Me: I.......

Actually I didn't know what to say. A gorgeous woman just vowed to stab anyone that messes with me. I don't condone such actions, but understand that self defense is a necessary evil in this world. My wish, of course, is that such terrible extremes would never have to be taken and that both of us stay clear out of harms way. I would never want anything to happen to either of us (or any of you reading this) that needs retaliation with a knife, gun or fists.

As the surface reactions and feelings wore off, I made another realization: This moment forcefully tugged at my heartstrings. She wasn't looking for a knife fight in the parking lot nor was she willing to stab anyone that walked by. She was telling me in her own tipsy way that she'd go the distance for me. Not kill on command or mangle, but protect. And the concept that someone cared so much for me that they'd risk life and limb if I was in trouble was just the most amazing feeling that I've never felt much of in my life. It was this concept, not the acts of potential violence, that moved me, inspired me and gave me hope that I'll be OK on this wild ride and that I'm not alone.

I felt part of me almost falling in love with her there on the spot but by the end of the drive I shook it off. I had other things to take care of, other women I was involved with to sort through and a future that was going to swing a few proverbial sharp blades at me.

It's good to know she cares.

Booked for Upcoming CBS Crime Drama, "Blue Bloods"

Ladies and gents, I will be visiting your blogs soon, I promise. It's just that all of a sudden I've become terribly busy with background acting gigs and that's a good thing! I actually got the call to work on this show while finishing up on the set "The Good Wife."

"Blue Bloods" is a new series starring Tom Selleck and Donnie Wahlberg (of New Kids on the Block fame) as family members who are in law enforcement in New York City. I will be standing in for some principle actor (not sure who) and also playing a "perp" which is shocking since I usually play cops on these kinds of shows. Have I broken the type casting? No matter. I'll take the money as things have been super tight these days and I am PRAYING (something I don't usually do) that I can afford the train fare to get down to the city to work.

"Blue Bloods" will be premiering on CBS this fall, Friday's at 10 PM ET.

Later everybody!

Another Round of "The Good Wife" Set for Monday

I got a call from the casting agency saying they needed me for Monday on "The Good Wife" playing whatever it is they need me to be in the background and I said yes. I had a great time there but, I must admit, getting to the studio in this heat has been exhausting. It also doesn't help that the studio is located near several trash dumps that give off a remarkable oder that left several of us ready to pass out on the sidewalk.

However despite these complaints, I'm thrilled to be working and hope that they will use me again as the season rolls on. I talked to one guy who played a lawyer, frat boy, client and a few other things last season so anything can happen. If not, there's always other projects I can work on.

I'd like to begin focusing on what is called "under 5"' roles. These are parts that the actor says 5 lines or less. Now I have way more lines than that in the short films I do, but I'm referring to big time TV shows here. Getting this will be difficult and tricky but I am talking with other actors and may have some leads on agents. You can't get these parts if you don't have one. So now that I am comfortable with background work, the time has come to take the next step. How long will this take? Who knows? I'll tell you this, it's not beyond my ability to perform such roles. It's just a matter of finding the dots and connecting them. And sooner or later, I will connect them!!!

The Photographer's Assistant

She was out for the night with her former boss and friend....a photographer.....

We met.....said hello.......pleasantries were exchanged. I thought little of her at first.....

The drinks poured.........we became..............intoxicated...........the conversation continued. Mostly small talk.

She then bluntly offered herself to me.

I was shocked......stunned....but I obliged......it was an opportunity. My peers, my fellow men, nearby said if I didn't, they would be my substitute.

(deep breath, long pause)

I went into her car, she drove me to a photography studio.......what happened there was savage.....carnal......illogical yet logical all at once.

(a long drink from a glass of water as I find the resolve to continue)

And that was that, or so I thought.

The Morning After

I awoke to find myself with a splitting headache. She lay next to me, fast asleep. what the hell have I done!?!? I look to see my clothes strewn about. Getting dressed I staggered out of the room to find the Photographer of the studio standing there with a big smile.

Photographer: Good man! (slapping my shoulder) Good man! Ha! Ha!

Me: Thanks.......

I find my way to the door and begin the long walk back to my car, checking to see if my wallet is still there and my keys still handy. I thought to myself; she wasn't the worst, nor the best. Nice attitude. Good girl but just not "it." At least she didn't have a dog that ate my wallet and ATM cards like the last woman. But for all intents and purposes, I'm putting this one behind me. Today is a new day.

Several Weeks Later

I'm at a house party when suddenly, a friend comes up to me with a big smile on his face.

Friend: I kept your personal info private but....um.....a certain someone was asking for your name and number because she's moving into a place behind a certain photography studio. She was wondering if you'd like to move in with her. I told her you'd need a very long time to think about it.....alone.

Me: Who is this?

Friend:(laughing) You don't know, or you don't want to remember? Come on, think!

Me: (I had forgotten her name) The photographer's assistant!?!?!?!

Friend:(laughing harder) YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

A short time later The Photographer joins party!!!! He notices me.

The Photographer: Looks like you may have your housing issue squared away. She's willing to pay two thirds in exchange for "things." (looking to the others at the party) HAAAAA! HA! HAAA!

He thrusts his hips in and out in a lewd, perverse manner while sticking out his tongue and simulating cunnilingus.

I wish to flee that party.

The Photographer: Hey she was really, really impressed with you by the way. You made a GREAT impression! Don't worry, you've got great form! HAAAAAAAA!

The other party goers gasp in horror.

Me: And how the fuck would you know about my form?

The Photographer: She's been going on and on about it!!! And I could see it on the video. Low resolution video but....well...I hope you become famous because you'll have to pay and pay baby. HAAAA! HAAAAAA!!! HHAAAAAA!!!!!!

Of course, it's a photography studio, filled with all sorts of cameras. Given his court jester like nature there may very well be no video at all. My friends assured me that this threat was nothing more than bluster and to simply take it in stride.

The Photographer: So, you moving in with her?

Me:(Giving him the look of death) No........

And the search for a new residence continues.

See Here, I've Done No Such Thing!!!

It wasn't all that long ago (St.Patrick's Day) that I found myself at an Irish bar, gleefully drunk, and in the midst of a very personal conversation with the cook's girlfriend. The cook being the head chef at my favorite watering hole that later closed down. She shared many intimate secrets about her relationship with him and none of it was offered up by me prying. She said that she was very comfortable talking to me so she let it spill along with beer and Irish car bomb shots between she and I.

Too drunk to drive she asked if I wanted to come to her place and sleep on her couch. Knowing full well I was not in control of my faculties, I obliged. Getting behind the wheel was simply unacceptable and dangerous.

Nothing happened that night between us and nothing was made of this event until now. My fondest memory of the evening was how comfortable her couch was. But things became quite complicated. You see, our friend, The Cook, had just broken up with his girlfriend. And that's where our tale begins.

Present Day

I knew the owner of the house that I'm staying at and our dear friend, "The Cook," were at our new regular watering hole and I felt I'd make a quick stop in to say hello.

The Cook: (noticing me as I enter) Well look who comes in just as I'm about to leave.

Me: Hey, where are you heading? I'll join you.

He told me that he was off to see a mutual friend at another bar near by. We'd have cheap beer and food as both of us were broke. On the walk over he shared his frustrations about the break up and her admission of infidelity. This latter incident had really stuck a nerve with him and he couldn;t shake off the pain. I empathized and decided to show my support for him by proposing a night where we go cruising for chicks. It would be a wonderful distraction for both of us as I was in a bit of a malaise over my housing situation.

The Bar

Before I could sit down and place my order, my cell phone rang. I was booked as an extra on "The Good Wife" for several days. This was most joyous and I eagerly accepted the offer. I told everyone of the news and ordered a drink in celebration. I would have some very nice paydays ahead of me.

All seemed well with The Cook and I. We continued our casual conversation with the others in the establishment before deciding to move onto another bar for one final round. It was during this walk that the tone of things changed dramatically.

The Long Walk

Rain began to pour and I felt the urgency to walk a bit faster to our destination.

The Cook: I'm really upset that she cheated on me. And then she expected me to overlook it. What the fuck?

Me: I knew she was into drama but I figured she was just bringing guys home and not doing anything with them simply to press your buttons. I even felt concerns about it myself a few days after she let me sleep over. I didn't know if you would come running out of the kitchen with a rolling pin or something to hit me. But (my former mixologist) told me not to worry and that all was well with it.

The Cook: No, no. I wasn't worried at all. I knew you wouldn't do that. Don't worry about that.

Suddenly, the Cook stops in his tracks, starring me down.

The Cook: Ricardo?

Me: Yes?

The Cook: Did you sleep with her?

Me: What!?!? Are you nuts? NO!

The Cook: Now I'm not going to hate you or anything, you don't have to worry about that. I will forgive you. It's water under the bridge. (pause) Did you sleep with her?

Me: NO! Why do you keep asking me this?

We start walking again. The rain intensifies. The Cook stops in his tracks again.

The Cook: I'll only ask this once and it's OK if you did. You can tell me and there will me no animosity here. Did you sleep with her?

Me: Will you stop it? NO!

We begin to walk again.

The Cook: Soooo Ricardo......really.....did you sleep with her?

The Second Bar (later)

The euphoria of "The Good Wife" booking has been killed buy this topic but I'm finally beginning to dry off. The conversation has shifted to more pleasant subjects but The Cook grows silent. I look over o see him looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

The Cook: You are a good man and a good friend but I have to ask you this once, and only once. And you can tell me without any guilt. Did you sleep with her? I know she slept with others, if you are one of the others, that's fine. I don't care if you go over and sleep with her now. I want nothing to do with her.

Me: See here, I've done no such thing! (The former Mixologist) was there at the bar and can set the record straight that nothing happened. I mean she wasn't with us the whole night but she knew what she was up to. She was playing games! Don't you see?

The Cook: I see, I see. I'm just saying if you did....

Me: I didn't, really!

A long pause as we both had a few sips of our beer and stared at the wall as some pretty girl sang karaoke and quite badly.

The Cook: So...

Me: Yeah?

The Cook: Would you have slept with her if she offered?

Booked For the CBS Legal Drama, "The Good Wife"

As many of you already know, I have a multiple day booking for the CBS legal drama "The Good wife." Looks like I will be playing a assistant state attorney which is cool and I'm really hoping that I get decent camera time. While it's just background work, you really never know what can happen. I could be a blur in the background or front and center. Hey, it's happened to me twice (being front and center with the main cast) on "White Collar" and I got a nice bump in pay for "Rescue Me" because I was used so prominently. But even if I don't, I'm just going to have fun with it.

So I will now get a few hours rest before jumping on a train bound for the Big Apple and be thankful that I am, at least, finding some work in one of the most competitive professions in the world.

Have a good one everybody!

Um....Awakward!!

I'm not one to showcase my pale, shirtless carcase to just anyone which is why I prefer to workout alone....away from the gyms people frequent. Fitness has been, and will remain, a part of my life until my dying days. If I don't workout, I feel ravaged by guilt and much too lethargic to carry on. So for many years I have taken to hitting the weights, along with push ups ( I do these BTW ) and crunches to keep some semblance of a fit male form. I'm getting in front of the camera after all, can't be sporting a gut. That's just unacceptable. The goal is simply for me to be toned and not look like it's too easy to push me around. If I can fill in a suit or jeans and a t-shirt, that's good enough for me.

However I have always preferred to work out alone. It's a solitary activity that allows both body and mind to be challenged and I like to get lost in pushing myself to my personal limits. I also don't like to be disturbed. This spartan endeavor was interrupted recently and I had little choice but to open the door since I'm at a temporary residence and the room belongs to performance artist and fetish model, Ms.D'Ranged.

I was preparing to do a second set barbell rows, excellent for the back.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Ladies and gentleman, I'm in my world, as described above. Drenched in sweat, smelling awful, because that's what happens when you work out, and I had no choice but to open the door.

Me: Hold on.

Toweling some of the buckets of sweat off, I open the door to find Ms.Deranged standing there smiling. This is utterly embarrassing for me to address a woman in this state.

Ms. D'Ranged: Hi.

Me: (labored breathing patterns) Hey....

Ms. D'Ranged: Can I grab something out of the closet.

Looking at my weights blocking the closet and wishing this moment passes swiftly.

Me: Sure, just a second.

I move the barbell that I was doing the rows with aside.

Ms. D'Ranged: Oh my God! How much weight is that?

Me: About 140 pounds.

Ms. D'Ranged: That weighs WAY more than me.

Me: Yes it does little lady.

I was too flustered to say anything more clever, I was caught of guard and moved about like an awkward mess. More clanging of weights and, at last, a path to the closet was cleared. I could only hope I wasn't too pungent as she looked for her things. I really wanted to finish up and hit the shower.

Ms.D'Ranged: (rummaging through the closet) I left all my summer clothes here which, you would think I would have had them all along because....it's summer. I've been meaning to get these for awhile.

Me: Well whatever you need, let me know. Just come in and grab it.

The owner of the house overhears the conversation from the next room.

Owner of the House:(shouting from the other room) Ha! What!?!?! What did you just say Ricardo? Come in and what!?!?! HA! Haaaaaa!

Me: (turning to Ms. D'Ranged, embarrassed further) No! No! That's not what I mean. I was not implying....he should get his mind out of the gutter.

Ms. D'Ranged: Oh look, I left one of my books on erotic bondage here. See?

Me: Mmmmm....I do.

That must be what all the twine was for but I made no mention of it.

Ms. D'Ranged: Well that should be it. Bye.

Shaking my head and closing the door, I resumed my workout hoping I'd at least gave her a moderately pleasant view. If not her her sake, then for my own fragile male ego.

So I Had a Date Recently

So despite all the chaos with me looking for a place to move to (I think I might have found one by the way, fingers crossed) and the mad pursuit of acting gigs down in New York City, I actually secured a date. Yeah I know, why go on a date when I have so many fires to put out from June when the original place I was to live in fell through because of structural damage? But then I asked myself, why not? It's been a roller coaster these past few months. Some of it fun, some of it not so much. But should I let the not so fun stuff push me away from living my life? Not a chance.

So there I am in a Thai restaurant, sitting across from a gorgeous woman (Yale graduate, so beauty and brains) and not having a care in the world. All my troubles vanished for awhile and really, as we talked more, I realized things aren't as bad as they seem with my plight and it's only temporary. She was passionate about the welfare of animals, the environment and eating healthy. I found it all fascinating as I enjoy the company of people who are passionate about things. She also wanted to know about my acting which, of course, I'm always happy to talk about. Personal light bulb going off over the head moment here: She was amazed how much worked I amassed since just getting back into things in September. I didn't realize this, but I have been VERY fortunate to have had the experiences I've had thus far. I really feel blessed in that regard.

But things took a turn and got rather interesting concerning the topic of age.

Date: Oh Ricardo I'm a little older than you.....

Me: You think so? How old do you think I am?

Date: I Googled you. I Google everyone.

Me: Clever of you.

Date: You didn't see the year I graduated on Facebook did you?

Ladies and gents, this woman looks to be in her late 20s and early 30s would be pushing it. I was convinced I WAS THE OLD MAN!! But was I?

Date: 88 Ricardo. You adding up those years yet?

Me: I.....you.......well I stand corrected......you.....

Date: I'm like a cougar.

Me: Yeah. Does this bother you that I'm just a mere boy?

Date: (laughing) No.

We talked more until the place closed down. the staff threw us out. Will there be a second date? I'd like to have one. Who knows?

The adventure continues folks. See you around.